Christians should have perfect lives is a false gospel

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Why, as Christians, do we always expect an easy, rosy life because we believe in God and Jesus has overcome death and victory?

Y’all need to remember that Christ had a rough life and he warned us that we would, too. Jesus ain’t neva promised us roses.

I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take courage; I have overcome the world! —John 16:33 (BSB)

Yes, God has overcome the world. But he legit warned us that life would not be easy and it would be hard. Anyone who tells you that your life is wonderful just because you have God and/or Jesus in your life is preaching a false gospel. Run far, far away. And don’t confuse the idea of a “wonderful” life with a “joyful” life. Joyful is a state of being of the person; a wonderful life describes that the person is living without any troublesome situations. It is possible to have a crappy life, but be joyful in the situation.

I’m guilty for taking verses out of context, but I think we can still learn the truth behind these verses alone.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. —1 Peter 4:12

This was written specifically to Christians being persecuted for their faith. But the general idea still applies to Christians today. Why are we surprised when we have troublesome situations in our lives, some that we didn’t even cause? We expect, “Hey, God, I’m a good person. Bad things shouldn’t happen to me.” Again, that’s a false gospel. The New Testament stresses in various ways that yes, we will suffer. We will go through “ordeals.” And every time—every single time—we’re shocked as if our faith was supposed to prevent us from lousy situations.

News flash: We’re kinda promised crappy experiences because that’s what Jesus experienced. As Christians, if we are following in Jesus’s shoes/footsteps, life will not be easy. And for belief in Jesus, that is the sacrifice we have to be willing to make.

An aside as I wrap up:

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. —1 Corinthians 10:13

I came across this verse and realized this is likely where the “God won’t give you more than you can handle” saying came from. But from my perspective, this is about temptation. The strong appeal of doing something sinful or wrong that you feel like you cannot escape. God is saying that we can exercise impulse control here (no matter how hard it is). Of course, it would be preferable that always try to avoid temptation, but we often don’t. Because we’re sinful. And because we are human. Even if you *do* fall into the temptation, God will provide a way out in the sense that, even though you may have done things wrong, He will be with you and help you through it, regardless of the consequences so that you can endure, or work through it.

God tells us in the Bible over and over and over and over that he will never leave us or forsake us. If someone keeps repeating the same thing over and over, maybe it means it’s important, and it’s time that we listen?

  • 1 Kings 8:57
  • Deuteronomy 31:6
  • Deuteronomy 31:8
  • Hebrews 13:5
  • Joshua 1:5

2024 Goals

~ K ~ Leave a comment

2024

Hi. I’m not back. I have no delusions of resurrecting this site anymore. lol. But this was always the place I came to document my goals. Aaand to be quite honest, I haven’t had any goals in a while other than to survive. I have a lot of goals. I could pare them down, but I’ll order them in priority. I’m not resolving myself to complete these goals in their entirety. They’re just that—goals. I hope to make some progress during 2024. This is all a lot. I’ll need to make a note to myself to come back in late December 2024 and see what habits I’ve established for 2025. (Note: It is currently difficult to prioritize these goals apart from number 1.)

2024 Goals

  1. Read 6 full books for the year.
    a. Theologizin’ Bigger (reread)
    b. So You Want to Talk About Race
    c. Rising Strong
    d. The Councilman
    e. Unclobber
    f. Red, White & Royal Blue
  2. Read 2 chapters of the Bible 1 day per week.
  3. Pray in the morning for 5-10 minutes 1 day per week.
  4. Noom: Update at least 3x per week.
  5. Exercise 1x per week for at least 10 minutes.
  6. Attend church 2x per month.
  7. Visit Mom on Long Island 2x this year.
  8. Book a massage once per quarter.
  9. Complete YA steampunk novel by year’s end.
  10. Meditate 1x per week.
  11. Duolingo: 2x per week for 10-15 minutes.
  12. Hand journal 2x per month.
  13. Substack post 1x per month.
  14. Blog on WordPress 1x per month.
  15. Take 3 LinkedIn Learning Courses by year’s end.
  16. Watch 3 TED/TEDx talks this year.

Blank slate

~ K ~ Leave a comment
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

So many things to blog about but somehow my mind is a blank slate. (Why do I feel like I say this all the time on this blog? I have 13 years of content on here so obviously I must have something to say.)

But it’s not just about being a blank slate. It’s about organizing my thoughts coherently so they make sense to others.

I want to write a whole post about my son having ADHD, his behavior reminding me of my own when I was his age, and how I’ve sought therapy and medical care for him high and low. (Don’t fuck with mommas and their kids.) But I can’t seem to muster the energy.

Then there are other things: news and current events—Uvalde shooting, the Russo-Ukrainian War, crime increasing in general, and COVID-19 and how people need to slowly start acclimating to the reality that this disease will never be eradicated anytime soon.

I don’t normally write short blog posts. I’m one of those writers who tend to write lengthy rambles. But I got nuthin’ for ya today.

Podcasts

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Courtesy of Adobe Stock/Alex from the Rock

This is going to be a really short post.

I don’t get podcasts. I don’t get why they’re a thing. I don’t get why people like to listen to them so much. People fall asleep in church listening to a sermon, but those same people can turn on an audio recording and listen to someone blather on about who knows what.

I find this different from audiobooks as audiobooks are an accessible form of reading or a convenient way to “read” a book without having to flip actual pages. Audiobooks are just as good as reading an actual book.

But this podcast stuff is everywhere and anyone can have a podcast. You don’t need to be famous, you don’t need to be special. All you need is access to doing some podcast stuff and make it public. I don’t know how a podcast is any different from talk radio except that you don’t have crazy callers making things funny.

I’ve been on a podcast and it’s the only podcast I’ve ever listened to in its entirety. I tried listening to Michelle Obama’s podcast when it first came out, and I could not be sleepier. If people want to hear me rant unimpeded about various topics, I’ll do so, but I’ll also function as a hypocrite in saying that I don’t listen to other podcasts and I have no desire to.

But ultimately, reader, you do you.

Planned Parenthood provides healthcare

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Planned Parenthood (PP) is a place that no longer scares me. When I needed an outpatient medical procedure done (not an abortion), PP was the only medical facility around that could take care of me quickly. I called gynecologists and other doctor’s offices; there was at least a week’s wait. I called urgent care; it was a procedure they didn’t do. And no way would the hospital have considered it an urgent medical need. But I was having issues that needed to be addressed right away.

Continue reading “Planned Parenthood provides healthcare” →

Diversity and inclusivity

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I found a new church last fall but have only really begun attending in earnest in February or March of this year. New job, new church, who dis?

It’s the kind of church I’ve been looking for but thought I’d never find: diverse and inclusive. Solid Biblical preaching while also being LGBTQ+ affirming. All kinds of races, ages, and genders. Single people are valued just as much as people who have partners. It’s kinda scary how much I love my church TBH. Nothing in life can be this perfect.

It’s a complete 180 from where I’ve come: my church has a female pastor and sings worship songs that I probably would’ve made fun of 3 years ago. (The songs are growing on me actually. But my son doesn’t care for them.)

I’m also at a job that is diverse and inclusive. These are specific areas that I’ve wanted to target in the past few years, and I feel blessed that God is providing these opportunities.

Deconstructing, then reconstructing

~ K ~ Leave a comment

After deconstructing and finally reconstructing my faith, I’ve found a church 15 minutes away from me that is diverse (many races and ethnicities) AND inclusive (LGBTQ+ and others).

When I started my journey of looking for churches, all I came across were mainline churches primarily made up of white people. Specifically older, white people. I’ve been token Black person before and it was a role I did not like. Me having to count whether I was the darkest-skinned person in the room or if there was someone else like me.

I did Google searches like crazy trying to find a church that even looked diverse. A church that was openly LGBTQ+ affirming. I searched for months and just couldn’t find any place I wanted to visit.

Then my current church came up and I checked out their website. They had different races of people, different ages, different genders, and different sexual orientations. Not excluding any group of people was an important aspect for me. To not judge. Or rather, learn NOT to judge.

I began attending the 8:30 services, which felt like more of a cozy Bible study rather than a pontific church service. I had the opportunity to meet the senior pastor, the elders, the deacons, and the interns. The pastoral leadership looked as diverse as their website showed. No token people, good expository preaching, and hey!—a female pastor! Couldn’t get any better. Finally, when I felt comfortable enough at the church, I switched to the 10 o’clock service. I attended a few times before venturing to bring my kids with me.

My daughter loved it. She had never been around so many people. Especially those who sang and danced. She had fun picking up flags and waving it around during the worship time. But there’s a toddler room open and she enjoys being there, too. My son who’s going into third grade, sits with me during worship before he gets dismissed for children’s church. He’s uninterested in song worship so I usually have to take books along with me for him to read. But he seems happy to go to children’s church.

I’m slowly trying to become more involved with church activities. I am pretty nervous about putting myself back out there because there’s always the risk of getting hurt. And I’ve been burned by 2 churches and I don’t want to get burned by another one. I think if things went sideways with my current church, I probably would no longer attend church for a long time. Being vulnerable is a 2-edged sword: you can create some very good relationships but you can also get extremely hurt.

So here I am, trying to be vulnerable with my church (probably the last church I will be) and accept love, compassion, and care. From everyone there.

All Things Must Pass

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I’ve been going through old blog posts, scanning them for any topics I want to revisit. What struck me most is how much my blog was a product of its time. Except for, perhaps, YouTube clips that haven’t been taken down, most of the media I linked to is defunct.

One of the video sites I used, Vodpod, no longer exists so most of my videos have disappeared. I linked to Grooveshark and that no longer exists either. Does anyone use last.fm anymore?

I created other blogs that were deleted or hidden from view. I’m weirdly organized in an “all over the place” kind of way. I’m not neat. But for the most part, I’m organized. I usually know where everything is or where everything is supposed to go. But that doesn’t mean it’s been done neatly.

I suppose I choose efficiency over being neat. I love looking at minimalistic designs like in the Nordic regions and Japanese culture.

I am not neat enough to keep it looking like that, but it is aesthetically pleasing to my eyes.

George Harrison sang, “All Things Must Pass.” And I feel like that’s so true of things as I’ve grown up. Online store profits beat those of brick-and-mortar stores. J.C. Penney’s and Woolworth’s are no longer household names. Napster was the IT music site back in the day. I do believe there will come a time when Amazon, Facebook, Microsoft, and Google will eventually fade away and yield to something new and snappier. Vine died so that TikTok could live. Will anyone know what TikTok is in 20 years? I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see.

Over the hill and through the woods

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I turned 40 this year. I’m officially middle-aged and old. I’ve decided at 40 I am not taking any prisoners and have decided that I won’t allow people to fuck with me.

What the hell does that mean?

Continue reading “Over the hill and through the woods” →

I am no longer Aunt Jemima

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Wow. I reread a blog post of mine from 2017 and realize I have changed a lot of the positions I held 5 years ago. Consider the following:

I have since learned that several members of the black community have turned their backs on me after learning that I am pro-life and do not support Planned Parenthood. If this is what isolates me from the black community, so be it. I will fight for the right for developing cells/human beings/fetuses/babies to live.

–Me

I won’t get into details about this, but I think Planned Parenthood (PP) provides a very good service to underserved communities and is an important part of the American healthcare system. I had a personal experience with PP (not an abortion) that convinced me to change my mind.

And then there’s the issue of reparations for black people. No, thank you. White people can keep their money and their land. See how well reparations worked out for Native Americans? Government-protected reservations with high crime rate, high gambling problems, high suicide rate, high drug use, and high alcohol use. Nope. No support for reparations from this here colored girl.

–Me

I have changed my position on this as well. Mainly because I’ve read about how the US and France economically ripped financial independence from Haiti. The New York Times performed an exposé on how Haiti has become one of the poorest countries in the world. And after reading the articles, I now believe that Haitians are overdue for reparations from the US and France. If I feel this way about my Haitian heritage, who am I to argue against slavery reparations from the US? The US done a lotta stuff wrong and they needs to go about making it right. I don’t care if it costs billions of dollars. The US prints money on air. Haitians and Black Americans need the US government to acknowledge its harm done to Black people in both countries. And they need to monetize that somehow. France needs to do it for Haiti, too. I encourage you to read all of the New York Times articles regarding to the Haiti project.

So the long and short of it is, black people and I just don’t get along. It’s taken me 35 years to realize this but better now than later. I will never have a black BFF. And I need to be OK with that. Because I have so many wonderful friends—of all other races, though mostly white—who I can rely on.

–Me

I get along pretty well with just people of color in general now. It’s been wonderful to have diversity within my friendships and community. One of my BFFs, the wife of one of my cousins, is El Salvadorian (and helping me to learn Spanish!). In a previous job, I worked with so many BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) that I realized it wasn’t just about skin color. It’s about who they are as people. And so many of them were wonderful. And as BIPOC, we were able to share experiences with each other in ways that white people could not understand.

I’ll probably never have a Black BFF and that’s okay. But I’m friends with a lot of first-generation Americans who are BIPOC. I have learned to surround myself with supportive people no matter their race. And that’s all that really matters.

Except no lie, I didn’t want to go to an all-white church and be the token Black person. But that’s another rant for another day.

Beachbody Exercise & Nutrition Programs

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www.beachbodyondemand.com

As I talk about my Beachbody on Demand (BOD) kick, I’m currently going through an exercise program called LIIFT4. It’s weight lifting combined with high-intensity interval training (HIIT). Other than 80-Day Obsession, I don’t know that I’ve been this consistent with an exercise program.

I took my progress photos, took my measurements, and recorded my starting weight. I’m slightly discouraged because I’ve only lost 9 lb since January 2022, and wish I could make better progress. I’m beginning to dial in my nutrition and focus on eating more vegetables in my diet. I’ve tried the 2 nutrition plans they have, Portion Fix and 2B Mindset, but I’ve only had real success with Portion Fix. 2B is an easier plan to follow. There’s a plan but the main rule is to drink 16 oz of water before a meal and have mostly veggies. I’m a carbavore so I’d rather take a few carbs in my Portion Fix container than find a meal that has nothing but veggies and a little bit of protein. That’s just my preference.

The other problem is that I eat out a lot. I do not meal prep. I don’t like cooking and my husband doesn’t like cleaning up the dishes after I cook. I need to learn how to grill chicken so I buy salads and throw them on top.

(Oh, and btw, I like vegetables and fruit with pesticides, thankyouverymuch. I’m not against organic stuff but they’re more likely to have bugs in them.) And really, what does organic mean anyway?

Continue reading “Beachbody Exercise & Nutrition Programs” →

Developing My Exercise Habits

~ K ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been a member of Beachbody on Demand (BOD) since August 2, 2017. At first I didn’t really use it and then somehow got into exercising at 3 am and did programs like 21-Day Fix and 80-Day Obsession. I actually stopped 80-Day Obsession in 2018 because of pregnancy but ruined my habit of regularly exercising by not doing the prenatal workouts.

After I had my daughter in 2019, it was really hard to get back into the habit of exercising again. Even after the newborn stage. I considered canceling my BOD membership because I was so inconsistent and “undedicated.”

Fast forward to May 2, 2021. Somehow I decided, right then and there, that I’d make a commitment to exercising. We went on vacation, and I still tried to exercise in the morning while the kids were asleep. I tried to exercise as much as I could in our new home that we moved into in late 2019. BOD dubs 21-Day Fix as a “beginner” program, but it’s actually quite difficult. (I’d label it as Intermediate, if you ask me.) It started out as 7 workouts to repeat over the course of 3 weeks, but now they’ve re-recorded it for “real time” as if you’re doing a different workout for each of the 21 days. (So 21 new episodes that provide variety instead of watching the same 7 workouts on repeat.)

But I started out with 21-Day Fix (not real time) and completed the program. What was next? I think I did T25 for a bit but didn’t really commit to that program. Then came Morning Meltdown 100. 100 different workouts. Could I commit?

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An about-face

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I’m done having kids, especially for the sake of my mental health. If I were to have an accident, I would have to terminate the pregnancy. It really, mentally, is life or death for me, and I have to choose my life.

What a turnaround from being “pro-life”! What happened that I’m now pro-choice?

Continue reading “An about-face” →