This post has probably been stewing inside of me for the past couple of years, and some women might find it offensive while other women won’t care while others might agree and others might disagree. I don’t care. This is how I feel. Continue reading “The Queen Bees of Social Media (It’s Only a Dream)”
Tag: women
5 High-Profile Women I Adore and Admire
Disclaimer: I recognize all of these women have significant flaws and foibles but for one reason or another, I have chosen to highlight the positive characteristics about each woman that inspires me.
1. Tina Turner
Since I was a toddler uttering “Tina Turn-ner-ner,” I have always adored Ms. Turner’s sass and sultry raspy singing. When I grew older, I dragged my mother to the movie theater to see “What’s Love Got to Do with It” a dramatized version of Ms. Turner’s biography. I watched how she rose to fame and fortune alongside her drug-addled husband Ike, battled against him, and fought poverty as a result of leaving him only to emerge successful on her own yet again. Her sheer inner strength and optimism inspired me as a teenager and continues to inspire me now.
2. Madonna
Back in the early 80s when American Bandstand’s Dick Clark asked a young Madonna what she wanted to do, she declared, “I want to rule the world.” Indeed, Ms. Ciccone has done pretty much that. People debate her talent but no one can debate her shrewdness and clever marketing ability. (Lady Gaga watched a master at work here.) Madonna, now well into her 50s, has shown consistent dedication and discipline in evolving, not only as a fashion and pop music icon, but also as a woman with staying power. She may not enjoy all the success she once enjoyed in her prime but she’s managed to remain relevant—something very few of her peers have been able to successfully do.
3. Hillary Clinton
During the early 90s, I remember Ms. Clinton taking tons of heat for trying to introduce universal health care legislation to Congress because it wasn’t what a First Lady was “supposed” to do. Republicans may have hated her from that point on, but the former First Lady garnered my respect ever since. I admired Ms. Clinton’s ability to use her high-profile position to lobby for health care reform and watched her become vilified and forced into the traditional meek First Lady role. During my brief internship, I was able to see what the former New York Senator did first-hand as she brought grants for firefighters and policemen to various towns in the state of New York (including my hometown!), fought to keep military bases open so that cities wouldn’t be shut down and hundreds of people would be put out of work, and championed hard for SCHIP (State Children’s Health Insurance Program). As Secretary of State, Ms. Clinton has represented America with a gentle yet firm hand, handling her mistakes with the grace befitting a former First Lady. Her strength and dedication to serve Americans inspires me again and again.
4. Michelle Obama
I’ll admit, I had my doubts about Barack Obama’s wife as she stood by his side on the campaign trail before he was elected president but she has pleasantly surprised me by stepping into her role as First Lady with grace and ease I never saw before. She has become a tireless champion in getting America to eat healthier, advocating for communities to eat fresh and eat local by way of connection with local farmers, and encouraging children to exercise more and eat right in the battle against obesity. While I don’t always agree with her stance on everything, she is encouraging Black communities to take ownership of their lives and their future—and I cannot begrudge that at all.
5. Tyra Banks
Ms. Banks has navigated the modeling arena with a down-to-earth attitude, incredible business savvy, and bright enthusiasm in a world that can be bleak with drugs and eating disorders. Her success is a generational mirror reflecting that of another female pioneer, Oprah Winfrey. Ms. Banks’s talk show, Tyra, has proven that she is not a dumb, air-headed woman—that she is, in fact, just like the rest of us with body insecurities, crazy moments, and tons of generosity. She has been beaten down for her fluctuating weight by tabloids and fought back by encouraging women to embrace their bodies and develop a positive body image.
What Lilith has to do if it hopes to stay alive for next year…
One of the fondest memories of my teenage years was attending Lilith Fair.
At Jones Beach, NY about 12 years ago, I attended the festival in celebration of women in music. Lilith Fair couldn’t have been timed any better. At this time in 1998, women like Brandy, Madonna, Sarah McLachlan, Mariah Carey, and Shania Twain dominated the charts. Alternative and folksy female artists like Paula Cole, Shawn Colvin, Jewel, and Alanis Morissette also proved to be a powerhouse during this time paving the way for more current artists like Colbie Caillat, Sara Bareilles, and Michelle Branch. At the fair, I had the privilege of discovering artists like Antigone Rising, Sixpence None The Richer, and Heather Nova.
But perhaps the time of women wearing Birkenstocks and bopping to 4 Non Blondes has come and gone.
Amid a poor economic climate and struggling sales, Lilith Fair was forced to cancel the last leg of its tour and other poorly selling dates. Some media outlets are reporting that the tour is suffering from “embarrassingly low attendance.” Names like Norah Jones, Kelly Clarkson, The Go-Gos, Mary J. Blige, Rihanna, Sheryl Crow proved to be an initial draw but many of those artists were only performing in select regions and have since dropped out due to various reasons (in the case of Jones, Clarkson, The Go-Gos, and Rihanna). While it’s not unusual for acts to drop out of a tour this massive, it’s unfortunate many of them had to be some of the bigger names.
At this time, the pop music charts are dominated mostly by men and of the three women currently there (Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and Lady Gaga), only one was originally booked to perform at Lilith (Ke$ha) — and even she was relegated to being a supporting act instead of a main headliner.
The appeal of Lilith Fair has always been discovering some of the smaller, lesser-known acts while being able to connect with familiar favorites. When familiar favorites aren’t available, the smaller acts suffer as well. So what does Lilith Fair need to revamp in the hopes of continuing this next year?
1. Obtain several current, big names for each city.
Sure, Sarah McLachlan is considered a big name , performs in each city, and is the largest reason people attend the tour, but let’s face it: Ms. McLachlan hasn’t had a Top 10 hit since Lilith Fair ended in the last decade. When people pay money for multiple acts, they want to see several acts they’re interested in. Booking artists like Katy Perry, Carrie Underwood, Lady Gaga, Lady Antebellum, or Miley Cyrus would draw in a mix of old and young, generating significant sales and, in turn, revenue. Upon the initial Lilith Fair lineup announcement, I was disappointed to discover that Sheryl Crow was only performing in Northwest America (Canada and US), Rihanna and Ke$ha were relegated to Salt Lake City, and Mary J. Blige was doing a Midwest circuit. The biggest name for the Philly area (apart from Ms. McLachlan) was Kelly Clarkson. For the NYC area (one of the largest music markets), no one on the lineup has a current Top 10 hit. That needs to be rectified for Lilith Fair to be successful next year.
2. Keep up with the diversity.
I’ll give Lilith Fair credit — it’s done an amazing job of getting acts spanning all races for the 2010 reboot and it needs to do it again. My only complaint from the original Lilith Fair was the lack of diversity in the lineup. Like Jessica Herman said in Slate’s “Why Do We Need Lilith Fair Anymore?”, the festival indeed felt like “a bunch of white chicks strumming their acoustic guitars.” For Lilith 2011, I’d like to see acts that draw a multiracial audience rather than just mostly white women. Lilith needs to continue reflecting the changing landscape among women in North America.
3. Make itself relevant again.
Possibly a restatement of #1 above but Lilith Fair in the 90s had the mission of breaking down barriers for women in music. In Sarah’s absence, women have indeed proven they can do just that. Twelve years later, the mission statement can’t be the same and the big draws of the 90s (eg, Indigo Girls, Suzanne Vega) can’t continue to be relied upon now. What’s Lilith’s goal now? Simply celebrating female talent? Honoring legends and showcasing future acts? Whatever it is, Lilith needs to find its footing and make that clear.
2010 has proven to be a difficult concert sales climate with everyone from the Jonas Brothers to The Eagles cancelling shows. Perhaps Lilith Fair is simply a victim of a struggling music industry. But if it hopes to remain around next year, organizer McLachlan will have some serious tinkering to do.
Desperately seeking local female friend who loves Jesus, Justin*, and John**
A ramble/rant/possible form of incoherence.
I am trying to reconcile who I am with who God wants me to be as a married woman living in the Philadelphia area. More than that, I think, I struggle with trying to reconcile who I am with what I think Christianity expects or wants me to be.
I’ve written before about how I see differences between myself and other women. I am currently struggling with my role as a Christian woman within the church. I’m 28, married, and currently childless. I’m a minority at my church. Moreover, I’m suddenly starting to feel like a minority in my phase of life. I am having a difficult time accepting that I’m in the stage of life where many of my friends are married and having children and parenthood is not a place God has called me to yet.
I am also struggling with the idea of a glass ceiling in the church: how much can women serve and is that glass ceiling really ordained by God or by power-hungry, chauvinistic men hanging onto an archaic rule that served its purpose for that time and that culture? (My husband warned me that I sound all Brian McLaren with those thoughts, but I happen to think he’s a little biased considering he’s a guy and all.)
I spent the day crying (partially about what I don’t have but also) about what I like: social media; reformed theology; discussing mental health issues; writing fiction; blogging about topics that don’t include fashion, kids, or TV shows; pop music; and going to concerts. I am grieved by the superficial — apart from my faith, I share very little in common with the women of my church.
I whine about the days when I used to be able to call up a buddy and say, “Hey, want to go to a concert with me?” and she’d say, “Sure! Time and date, please!” and we’d just go. Perhaps it’s because I don’t have children that I still feel that kind of freedom. But even if I did, I’d hope that I’d still be able to go. (I attend concerts once or twice a year.)
I feel the need to live two different lives: a life with Christians where I act all Christian and do whatever Christian people do and a life with non-Christians where we share similar interests but nothing that unites as deeply as spiritual things do. Is it wrong for me to want the two worlds to collide? To want the crazy friend who dyes her hair pink and purple, loves music, literature, and Jesus just as much as I do (if not more), and would go to Hershey with me to see Justin Bieber? To want that friend who can say, “You wanna hang out on Saturday and find a place in Philly where a local band is playing?” or “I’m in a really dark place right now in my life. Could you come over, talk, and pray with me?” Perhaps it’s never too late to develop imaginary friends. Or, slightly less creepy, put an ad up on the Philadelphia craigslist. (Maybe imaginary friends are safer, though. Hmm…)
I have friends all over the United States who I connect with on different levels, but in suburban Philadelphia, an area I’ll likely call home for the rest of my life, I still feel lost. I still see myself as the freak loser even though I’ve never gone to school here and have never had anyone tease me here. I have lots of local friends, but when I’m depressed, upset, and hurting, I don’t have that “one” friend I feel comfortable calling. Mostly because I know they’ve all got their kids and their husbands, and hence their busy lives that have little room or space for me.
I keep wondering how to rectify the situation. How to find my crazy Christian friend who loves Jesus, loves pop music, lives within 20 minutes, and can educate me on the greatness of Proust and Faulkner.
Or maybe I’ll just stick to this solitary life of writing novels and keeping hoping and wishing that I had different so I didn’t feel so immature, so isolated, and so alone.
How is a Christian woman supposed to act? In the novel I’m currently working on, my protagonist gets a brief lesson on being a Titus 2/Proverbs 31 (Biblical) woman. I’m feeling about as flummoxed as my character. The Biblical woman is ever working, ever busy, ever faithful, ever diligent. Striving to be like the woman the Bible outlines is striving for perfection — a goal I’ll surely never attain. Why bother at all?
I struggle with ambition. I am an ambitious woman. I don’t know what I want to do but I want to do something. But all I can do is write. There’s not much of a need for that in my local church.
I could go on and on but the rest of my thoughts are a jumble, I’m feeling tired and depressed again about how I’m doomed to live with a 16-year-old mentality in a 28-year-old body and a New York mentality in suburban Philadelphia, and how I have no kids and probably too much time on my hands. I need to get involved in something in which I can utilize my talents regularly but I’m not sure what.
*Justin Bieber
**John Piper
Rechecking my gender
What does it mean to be a woman in America? Continue reading “Rechecking my gender”
This Journey Is My Own 