Tag: truth

Lies That I Tell Myself

~ K ~ 1 Comment
  • Nobody loves me.
  • I’m a failure.
  • I suck.
  • I’m a horrible mother.

Those are just a sample of the lies I tell myself on a daily basis. I know they’re lies because

  • I have a family who loves me.
  • I have a successful freelancing business.
  • I have tons of helpful friends.
  • My kid is still alive.

But as illogical as it might sound, if you think on something long enough, it starts to feel true. I deal with loneliness, perfectionism, low self-esteem, and lack of confidence.

Often I have the tune of “Jesus Love Me” stuck in my head, but here are the words I hear:

Nobody loves me
This I know
For nobody
Tells me so

Which is a blatant lie because my husband tells me he loves me every day.

I don’t know how to overcome these lies in my head. I don’t know how to focus on what is true. I don’t know how to not feel so alone in my mind and my heart.

Children Don’t Belong to Moms; They Are A Loan from God

~ K ~ 5 Comments

Image: phanlop88 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

After hearing a good friend’s testimony on Saturday, I was reminded of an important truth. Maybe it wasn’t so much a reminder as it was a revelation: “my” children won’t belong to me. They will be “on loan” from God. As a result, only He only will choose when to lend me His creation. Just like library materials aren’t completely mine or Netflix movies aren’t mine but I’m fully responsible for them when they’re in my possession, so it is with the children bestowed upon me. I must remember that God is not withholding anything that is “rightfully mine.” (Technically, nothing is.) I should look at motherhood as a privilege God will allow me to partake in rather than something I inherently deserve simply because of my gender.

I hope I can remember this as I struggle with childlessness each month.