Tag: song lyrics

Painting Pictures of Egypt

~ K ~ 1 Comment

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

—Sara Groves, “Painting Pictures of Egypt“

I recently moved to a new home. A house. My husband and I are first-time homeowners. I have 2 kids now. A lot has changed. I was in our apartment since I first moved to Pennsylvania in 2006. We moved to our new home in December 2019. 13 years there. 13 whole years. That’s over a decade and time to plant yourself somewhere. Especially for renting.

Now I’m in my new home—house—I miss my apartment. I miss the memories. I miss the familiarity. I miss the convenience. I lived right across the street from the train station, was near a nice library, and around the block from good friends. Everything was in walking distance with access to various restaurants. It was a walkable town. It felt more like the suburbs of Long Island in which I grew up.

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Approval from Others: I Shouldn’t Drink to That

~ K ~ 1 Comment
Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’ve been dealing with a huge “fear of man” issue lately—I care too much about what others think of me. I second-guess everyone’s motives, and if my friendship is rejected, speculations fly in my head in determining the possible reason of how I caused the rejection.

There’s a song by Rihanna called “Cheers (Drink to That)” that I really like. (The Avril Lavigne sample from “I’m With You” though? Not so much.) Yes, it’s a song about drinking.

Cheers to freakin’ weekend,
I’ll drink to that (yeah yeah).
Oh, let the Jameson sink in,
I’ll drink to that (yeah yeah).
Don’t let the bastards get you down,
Turn it around with another round,
There’s a party at the bar,
Everybody put your glasses up
And I’ll drink to that!”

I’ve gotta admit, I consider for the length of song drinking all my troubles away. The idea of drinking alcohol to drown all my paranoia and the possible criticism people might be leveling my way sounds enticing. The song somehow gets me all warm and fuzzy with the idea of sitting around a bar happily drinking myself stupid with a bunch of people I don’t know in an effort to escape my troubles. I never even dreamed of romanticizing the idea until this song. I wouldn’t lay blame with the song or the singer so much as I do with my interpretation of the avenue I think it gives me.

I’m constantly seeking approval from others. And I know that’s it’s wrong. I know that can only come from God, and I struggle with that. So I desire to drink alcohol to drown out the internal war in my head. I want to drink to deal with the war of truth and lies that rages in my brain.

As the song fades out, each time I need to tell myself, “No, drinking to get comfort only exacerbates the problems you’re dealing with. You must get ultimate comfort from God.”

But God doesn’t dull my senses like alcohol does. When I’m depressed, God doesn’t put me to sleep right away like alcohol can. And whether I drink or pray in the evening, the internal critics return in the morning to torment me. I can’t escape them; I don’t know what to do.

—

The song is just one example that leads into a larger issue of how music (not just melody or beats but also lyrics) can influence a person’s moods and thinking, but ironically, I’ve had a beer tonight (with a BBQ pizza!) and I don’t have the brainpower or energy to tackle a post of that scale tonight.