Attempting to live and breathe for an audience of one
I’m constantly trying to figure out who I am. Should I go by my Twitter bio?
Jesus follower, wife, mother, daughter, Haitian-American, Presbyterian (PCA), Beatles fan, pop princess, non-mommy blogger, suicide survivor, and more…
My Twitter bio only allows 140 characters so I’ve always wondered what I would add as “more” if I had unlimited space. But I also want to define how I describe myself in my Twitter bio. So here goes nothing… Continue reading “Twitter bio and more…”
Almost everyone’s got songs that they listen to that they wouldn’t want to fess up to if you heard it in their car. But here I list 10 songs that I listen to that I really know I shouldn’t be.
1. Free Bird: Lynyrd Skynyrd – About a man who goes a-cheatin’ and isn’t repentant about it. There’s nothing redeeming in the song except perhaps that awesome guitar solo.
2. Turn It Up: Paris Hilton – I really shouldn’t be listening or paying attention to anything Paris Hilton does, but I love the beat in this song. Her voice is a tad annoying and breathy, but I can get past it.
3. Uncle Albert / Admiral Halsey: Paul McCartney – This song is stupid and makes no sense. “Butter pie?” But I grew up with Paul McCartney as a solo artist and absolutely love the silliness of the song. The silliness and stupidity are what endear it to me.
4. Only Thing I Ever Get for Christmas: Justin Bieber – I always feel a bit like a teenage girl listening to the Biebs. I’m in my thirties. I really ought not to be listening to someone a full decade younger but gosh darn it, he’s so cute!
5. Hot Tottie: Usher featuring Jay-Z – Another song with no moral redeeming value. It’s about cheating too. But Usher’s singing is so sexy, the beat gets my body moving, and Jay-Z’s rap is clever (if not crass). It’s a song I really shouldn’t be listening to.
6. Circles: Christina Aguilera – On the same album in which she sings about loving, not hating, this song is totally about flipping the bird. “Spin around in circles on my middle, middle finger” is not really something I should be listening to but the playfulness of the song draws me in. Even if she ends it with a fine point like “motherf****r.”
7. Gangnam Style: Psy – This man could be talking about pooping on my mother for all I know since I don’t understand Korean. But I love doing that crazy horse dance. This will probably fall off my guilty pleasures list once Psy’s 15 minutes of fame are up, but I’m enjoying the song while it lasts.
8. Cheers (Drink to That): Rihanna – A song that celebrates drowning your misery in alcohol. I’m not an alcoholic (or much of an alcohol drinker) so I don’t know why I’m drawn to the song. (It may be the sample of Avril Lavigne’s “Yeah Yeah” from “I’m With You” that draws me in.) But I love to play it at the end of the long week and sing “Cheers to the freakin’ weekend.” Bonus points if I’ve got a beer in hand while listening to the song.
9. Hungry Like the Wolf / Rio: Glee Cast – Glee manages to do a bang-up job mashing up these two amazing Duran Duran songs. I don’t even watch Glee (I’ve seen a few episodes though) but I discovered this mix and haven’t looked back. I love singing along to this.
10. Reggae Strut: Neil Diamond – A Jewish boy from Brooklyn donning a bad Jamaican accent. Need I say more?
I look forward to seeing the new music that comes out in 2013! But in the meantime, here’s a list of 10 songs I loved in 2012. (I think you know all too well which one of them that will appear on here.) Continue reading “Top 10 Songs I Loved in 2012”
Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.netI’ve been dealing with a huge “fear of man” issue lately—I care too much about what others think of me. I second-guess everyone’s motives, and if my friendship is rejected, speculations fly in my head in determining the possible reason of how I caused the rejection.
There’s a song by Rihanna called “Cheers (Drink to That)” that I really like. (The Avril Lavigne sample from “I’m With You” though? Not so much.) Yes, it’s a song about drinking.
Cheers to freakin’ weekend,
I’ll drink to that (yeah yeah).
Oh, let the Jameson sink in,
I’ll drink to that (yeah yeah).
Don’t let the bastards get you down,
Turn it around with another round,
There’s a party at the bar,
Everybody put your glasses up
And I’ll drink to that!”
I’ve gotta admit, I consider for the length of song drinking all my troubles away. The idea of drinking alcohol to drown all my paranoia and the possible criticism people might be leveling my way sounds enticing. The song somehow gets me all warm and fuzzy with the idea of sitting around a bar happily drinking myself stupid with a bunch of people I don’t know in an effort to escape my troubles. I never even dreamed of romanticizing the idea until this song. I wouldn’t lay blame with the song or the singer so much as I do with my interpretation of the avenue I think it gives me.
I’m constantly seeking approval from others. And I know that’s it’s wrong. I know that can only come from God, and I struggle with that. So I desire to drink alcohol to drown out the internal war in my head. I want to drink to deal with the war of truth and lies that rages in my brain.
As the song fades out, each time I need to tell myself, “No, drinking to get comfort only exacerbates the problems you’re dealing with. You must get ultimate comfort from God.”
But God doesn’t dull my senses like alcohol does. When I’m depressed, God doesn’t put me to sleep right away like alcohol can. And whether I drink or pray in the evening, the internal critics return in the morning to torment me. I can’t escape them; I don’t know what to do.
—
The song is just one example that leads into a larger issue of how music (not just melody or beats but also lyrics) can influence a person’s moods and thinking, but ironically, I’ve had a beer tonight (with a BBQ pizza!) and I don’t have the brainpower or energy to tackle a post of that scale tonight.
One of the fondest memories of my teenage years was attending Lilith Fair.
At Jones Beach, NY about 12 years ago, I attended the festival in celebration of women in music. Lilith Fair couldn’t have been timed any better. At this time in 1998, women like Brandy, Madonna, Sarah McLachlan, Mariah Carey, and Shania Twain dominated the charts. Alternative and folksy female artists like Paula Cole, Shawn Colvin, Jewel, and Alanis Morissette also proved to be a powerhouse during this time paving the way for more current artists like Colbie Caillat, Sara Bareilles, and Michelle Branch. At the fair, I had the privilege of discovering artists like Antigone Rising, Sixpence None The Richer, and Heather Nova.
But perhaps the time of women wearing Birkenstocks and bopping to 4 Non Blondes has come and gone.
Amid a poor economic climate and struggling sales, Lilith Fair was forced to cancel the last leg of its tour and other poorly selling dates. Some media outlets are reporting that the tour is suffering from “embarrassingly low attendance.” Names like Norah Jones, Kelly Clarkson, The Go-Gos, Mary J. Blige, Rihanna, Sheryl Crow proved to be an initial draw but many of those artists were only performing in select regions and have since dropped out due to various reasons (in the case of Jones, Clarkson, The Go-Gos, and Rihanna). While it’s not unusual for acts to drop out of a tour this massive, it’s unfortunate many of them had to be some of the bigger names.
At this time, the pop music charts are dominated mostly by men and of the three women currently there (Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and Lady Gaga), only one was originally booked to perform at Lilith (Ke$ha) — and even she was relegated to being a supporting act instead of a main headliner.
The appeal of Lilith Fair has always been discovering some of the smaller, lesser-known acts while being able to connect with familiar favorites. When familiar favorites aren’t available, the smaller acts suffer as well. So what does Lilith Fair need to revamp in the hopes of continuing this next year?
1. Obtain several current, big names for each city.
Sure, Sarah McLachlan is considered a big name , performs in each city, and is the largest reason people attend the tour, but let’s face it: Ms. McLachlan hasn’t had a Top 10 hit since Lilith Fair ended in the last decade. When people pay money for multiple acts, they want to see several acts they’re interested in. Booking artists like Katy Perry, Carrie Underwood, Lady Gaga, Lady Antebellum, or Miley Cyrus would draw in a mix of old and young, generating significant sales and, in turn, revenue. Upon the initial Lilith Fair lineup announcement, I was disappointed to discover that Sheryl Crow was only performing in Northwest America (Canada and US), Rihanna and Ke$ha were relegated to Salt Lake City, and Mary J. Blige was doing a Midwest circuit. The biggest name for the Philly area (apart from Ms. McLachlan) was Kelly Clarkson. For the NYC area (one of the largest music markets), no one on the lineup has a current Top 10 hit. That needs to be rectified for Lilith Fair to be successful next year.
2. Keep up with the diversity.
I’ll give Lilith Fair credit — it’s done an amazing job of getting acts spanning all races for the 2010 reboot and it needs to do it again. My only complaint from the original Lilith Fair was the lack of diversity in the lineup. Like Jessica Herman said in Slate’s “Why Do We Need Lilith Fair Anymore?”, the festival indeed felt like “a bunch of white chicks strumming their acoustic guitars.” For Lilith 2011, I’d like to see acts that draw a multiracial audience rather than just mostly white women. Lilith needs to continue reflecting the changing landscape among women in North America.
3. Make itself relevant again.
Possibly a restatement of #1 above but Lilith Fair in the 90s had the mission of breaking down barriers for women in music. In Sarah’s absence, women have indeed proven they can do just that. Twelve years later, the mission statement can’t be the same and the big draws of the 90s (eg, Indigo Girls, Suzanne Vega) can’t continue to be relied upon now. What’s Lilith’s goal now? Simply celebrating female talent? Honoring legends and showcasing future acts? Whatever it is, Lilith needs to find its footing and make that clear.
2010 has proven to be a difficult concert sales climate with everyone from the Jonas Brothers to The Eagles cancelling shows. Perhaps Lilith Fair is simply a victim of a struggling music industry. But if it hopes to remain around next year, organizer McLachlan will have some serious tinkering to do.
This Journey Is My Own 