Tag: racism

I am no longer Aunt Jemima

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Wow. I reread a blog post of mine from 2017 and realize I have changed a lot of the positions I held 5 years ago. Consider the following:

I have since learned that several members of the black community have turned their backs on me after learning that I am pro-life and do not support Planned Parenthood. If this is what isolates me from the black community, so be it. I will fight for the right for developing cells/human beings/fetuses/babies to live.

–Me

I won’t get into details about this, but I think Planned Parenthood (PP) provides a very good service to underserved communities and is an important part of the American healthcare system. I had a personal experience with PP (not an abortion) that convinced me to change my mind.

And then there’s the issue of reparations for black people. No, thank you. White people can keep their money and their land. See how well reparations worked out for Native Americans? Government-protected reservations with high crime rate, high gambling problems, high suicide rate, high drug use, and high alcohol use. Nope. No support for reparations from this here colored girl.

–Me

I have changed my position on this as well. Mainly because I’ve read about how the US and France economically ripped financial independence from Haiti. The New York Times performed an exposé on how Haiti has become one of the poorest countries in the world. And after reading the articles, I now believe that Haitians are overdue for reparations from the US and France. If I feel this way about my Haitian heritage, who am I to argue against slavery reparations from the US? The US done a lotta stuff wrong and they needs to go about making it right. I don’t care if it costs billions of dollars. The US prints money on air. Haitians and Black Americans need the US government to acknowledge its harm done to Black people in both countries. And they need to monetize that somehow. France needs to do it for Haiti, too. I encourage you to read all of the New York Times articles regarding to the Haiti project.

So the long and short of it is, black people and I just don’t get along. It’s taken me 35 years to realize this but better now than later. I will never have a black BFF. And I need to be OK with that. Because I have so many wonderful friends—of all other races, though mostly white—who I can rely on.

–Me

I get along pretty well with just people of color in general now. It’s been wonderful to have diversity within my friendships and community. One of my BFFs, the wife of one of my cousins, is El Salvadorian (and helping me to learn Spanish!). In a previous job, I worked with so many BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) that I realized it wasn’t just about skin color. It’s about who they are as people. And so many of them were wonderful. And as BIPOC, we were able to share experiences with each other in ways that white people could not understand.

I’ll probably never have a Black BFF and that’s okay. But I’m friends with a lot of first-generation Americans who are BIPOC. I have learned to surround myself with supportive people no matter their race. And that’s all that really matters.

Except no lie, I didn’t want to go to an all-white church and be the token Black person. But that’s another rant for another day.

Black woman in America (my experience)

~ K ~ Leave a comment

What does it mean for me to be a black woman in America? Honestly, even though I have dark skin, I have no idea. I’m trying to figure it out and find my way around. Intersectional feminism and racism is what “they” tell me is true and what I’m being told is true. Is my personal experience true or is it a lie, or am I naive to the things of this world that are steeped in white supremacy and systemic racism? Am I the only black woman who’s naive to these things or is in their 30s and doesn’t believe in these things?

I hear all this stuff and while my brain comprehends it, my heart doesn’t get it. I’m old school: I can’t think of every white person as inherently racist. I grew up with the belief that there are 2 kinds of racists—overt racists and subtle racists.

Overt racists are not ashamed to admit that they hate people of color. They use racial slurs freely and to the faces of people of color. They are part of the KKK, neo-Nazis, and skinheads.

Subtle racists are the ones who like black people—as long as they stay in their corner. Just don’t move into our nice neighborhood or work at my job or take my promotion (but if my white colleague got it, that’s OK). Or don’t stand next to me at the bus station when I’d feel safer standing next to a white man. You can often tell the difference in subtle racists by their non-verbal cues. They can be harder to identify, but they exist.

But I’m not sure I buy the idea that ALL white people are racist. I would need to have that explained to me. That all white people inherently are against people of color?

It’s hard for me to look at my white husband and think, Gee, I love this exceptional, racist man. Why would I want to be married to a racist? Sort of odd to me, I think.

 

Current race relations in America (a potentially unpopular view)

~ K ~ 1 Comment

I don’t subscribe to the views of most black people. In fact, I may be the only black person who thinks the way I think and feels the way I feel about race relations in this country. Nevertheless, I’m a black woman living in America and I will say what I feel. My opinion is just as valid as anyone else’s.

The most recent incident of racism is the shooting in Charleston. Anyone who claims that it is not racism in any way is a flipping idiot. A white man walked into a black church, sat down with the people for an hour, and then proceeded to kill as many of them as he could. It doesn’t matter what he allegedly said. It doesn’t matter what his Facebook profile (that has since been taken down) said. It doesn’t matter what all his relatives say about his burgeoning interest in white supremacy. The facts clearly tell us that a white man, who was not a congregant of the black church, walked in and deliberately stole the lives of 9 innocent people.

But I don’t believe his actions are representative of the majority of white people. Most white people in America are not “white supremacists” and stand in solidarity with black people against injustice. While America has moved beyond government-sanctioned racism, it doesn’t mean that racism in American no longer exists.

If you’ve read this blog for a while, you know that I have always struggled to fit in with the black community. I don’t harbor views that make me leery of every white person I come across. In fact, I embrace many white people who enter my life. They have accepted me and made me feel like a person instead of a woman with a dark skin color. All of my bridesmaids (save my maid of honor) were white. My husband is white. The majority of my friends are white. I have many white acquaintances. I have rarely felt racially threatened by a white person. When I dislike someone, the color of their skin usually doesn’t factor into it. It often stems from the fact that I think they are idiots, ignorant, or inconsiderate.

Racism in America has escalated to a high level because of the media constantly shoving supposedly race-related incidents down our throats. Not every incident against a black person is directly race-related. (Notice I used the word “directly.)

Recently (within the past year or so), we’ve had a lot of incidents involving white police and black victims. A white policeman does something stupid and a black person usually suffers at the hands of the cop. As a friend (who is white) mentioned, there may be a subconscious element of racism. In America, we engineered to be leery of black people because they are often seen as “criminals” or untrustworthy. For me, it’s all about dress. If a dude (white or black) is dressed with a bandana over his head, has a baggy T-shirt on, and his pants are sagging down so you can see his Calvin Kleins, I will cross the street to avoid him. Again if a dude (white or black), is dressed professionally or even in a casual manner that appears non-threatening, I will remain on the same sidewalk. Appearance does matter.

Getting back to the white police versus black victims, I think a lot of these situations are the result of a majority of white men being cops who police predominantly black communities. As a result, there are often clashes between the two, so when a fatality occurs, it’s automatically branded as a race-related incident. I don’t believe these white cops wake up in the morning thinking, “I’m gonna kill a [insert N-word here] today.” No. These cops wake up willing to perform their duties, and when an incident occurs in area that is in or close to the inner city, some cops (again who tend to be white) act rashly, leading to the unfortunate deaths of black people.

I don’t believe the murder of many of these black victims is premeditated. But I do think we have a lot cops who are complete morons and should never have been allowed to serve.

Throughout American history, mostly in the 20th and 21st centuries, clashes between black people and white policemen have been common. Before, it was government sanctioned or government allowed. While these kinds of incidents are not as common as they used to be, there are still far too many problems occurring.

Does racism against black people in America still exist? Yes, absolutely. Are there cops who are racist? Yes, absolutely. But I think we need to do better as a country to improving race relations. White cops need to bridge the divide and reach out to black communities. Get to know them so that when an incident occurs, the first cry isn’t racism. The first cry is “most white cops aren’t like this in our community.”

Black people need to reach across the aisle too. Approaching a cop is always scary. But again, if a police officer appears non-threatening, simply smile or make a comment about his willingness to protect the community. The police are people too. They are under a lot of stress—far more than most people can imagine. A bright spot in their day can make a difference in how they respond to situations. Often when someone is in military uniform, people thank them for their willingness to serve and protect our country. Why can’t we begin to do the same for a police officer in uniform too?

Easing tension between blacks and police is a 2-way street. Maybe my ideas for bridging the gap aren’t the best. But we’ve got to start thinking of ways to improve race relations in this country instead of implementing self-segregation. White people are NOT the enemy. And if we embrace the ones who embrace us, we can begin to weed out the ones who want to harm us.

Racism

~ K ~ 5 Comments

I get so frustrated when black people, especially kids, throw around the term racist to any white person who offends them in some way. It’s annoying and it diminishes the meaning of the term.

I work in a library in a predominantly white community. The black kids that come in can get a little rowdy. (To be fair, kids of all colors who come in can get a little rowdy.) When the kids start using foul language or begin causing trouble, they get kicked out. The black kids cry out “racist!” directly at the person who is sending them off (and that person tends to be white). It rankles my feathers to hear that term being bandied about by kids who probably have never encountered real racism. As my (white) husband put it so well, these kids use the only defense they’ve got because once you call a white person a racist, “it shuts them down and they have no other comeback.”

I’ve encountered racism. Sadly enough, the racism has come primarily from other black people. I’ve had other black people tear me down for music I’ve listened to, people I’ve chosen to date, and for the books I read. It’s one of the reasons I have very few black friends. In some respects, I feel more comfortable around white people than black people because most white people don’t go out of their way to make me feel inferior.

Anyway, that’s the end of my rant about black kids who pull out the racist card like it’s the biggest ace they’ve got.

“The Help”: In Defense of a White Woman Writing about Black Women

~ K ~ 2 Comments

Apparently there was an uproar about Kathryn Stockett’s best-selling novel, The Help, about black maids oppressed by their white employees. Now that the movie’s out, the uproar is even louder. Tons of people (both white and black) have claimed the book is racist and historically inaccurate. Ms. Stockett isn’t doing too bad in spite of this—at a nearby speaking engagement, she was charging $65 for admission.

I pose the question, then, that my husband posed to me last night: why is it racist if a white woman writes about black women experiencing racism but not racist if a black woman writes about how white women treated black woman during a time of racism?

As a writer, I say Ms. Stockett is free to express her mind about her “fictionalized” book. (I’ve heard that The Help is really a fictionalized version of true stories from Mississippi.) It’s a novel which means that it’s fiction which means that it doesn’t need to be the most historically accurate book ever.

As a black woman, did The Help offend me? A little. I bristled during the first hundred pages of the book. Then I jumped to the end to see if the author had some kind of Afterword, which she did. I’m not sure I would have continued reading the book had I not read the Afterword. It makes me wonder whether Stockett was a little girl influenced by a black maid who just suddenly disappeared because her racist momma might have fired her and was atoning for her parents’ sins.

There is nothing Sambo-ish or overtly racist about this book. (Maybe the movie is different?) The main black women, Aibileen and Minny, are not idiots. I think Stockett happened to do a very good job of portraying black women who lived in the mundane: they were maids beholden to white employers who didn’t physically abuse them but still mistreated them. So these black women got back at them in a mundane way.

People complain that Skeeter is the white woman who “rescues” these black women. I see Skeeter as part of the majority ruling system that helped to make things right (again) in the a somewhat mundane way. She didn’t lobby Congress or hold hands with Minny and walk down the street in a march. She turned a racist institution upside down by publishing a book about black maids dishing on what it’s like to work in white households. Skeeter would have been nothing without the black maids who shared this information with her so no, they weren’t necessarily beholden to the “white woman” to “rescue” them.

America is a free country last I checked, and Stockett is free to write about black women as she imagines them just as Alice Walker is free to write about white women as she imagines them without being racist. Was there a lot about the civil rights movement that was left out? Heck yes! It’s very much (as Melissa Harris Perry argued against) Real Housewives of Jackson, Mississippi with a definite focus on the white women in the households. But there’s a lens that focuses in on the maids in those households too.

Black people are rarely (if ever) satisfied when white people write about racially sensitive times such as the early 1960s. White people don’t ever seem to get it right because they don’t seem to “understand” the plight of black people from those eras. But that’s what imaginations are for. And with the millions of black women in America during the 1960s, it leaves a world of possibilities.

The Inflated Race Card and the New Era of Racial Inequality

~ K ~ 4 Comments
Image from cheezburger.com

During the past few weeks, my husband and I have had discussions on and off about race in America, specifically brought on by my awareness of Black History Month.

I have been consistently debating with him on a variety of topics related to black culture in America, ie, the current need for Black History Month, affirmative action, racial quotas in the workplace, scholarships based on race rather than merit, the double standard for whites and other minorities, etc. Usually by the end of these discussions, I am frustrated and downright near livid that he can’t seem to understand my position and I cannot understand his only because we do not share the same skin color.

Then I go online and read blog posts on sites like AOL’s Black Voices and TheRoot.com and get annoyed and angry because I’m reminded that I do not share the opinions of most black people and the majority of them would not share mine. Continue reading “The Inflated Race Card and the New Era of Racial Inequality” →

Thoughts on He Talk Like A White Boy

~ K ~ Leave a comment

I recently completed reading Joseph C. Phillips’s book, He Talk Like A White Boy. You may best remember Mr. Phillips as Lt. Martin Kendall, Denise’s husband, on The Cosby Show.

Now, I gotta be honest. I picked up the book for two reasons:

  1. He was one of few black men I always thought looked handsome (even as a kid!).
  2. The title.

I don’t remember how I initially happened upon it but a few years back, I stumbled across the book, saw the title, and thought to myself, This is on my must-read list before I die. I’m glad to say I wasn’t disappointed.

The title of He Talk Like A White Boy juxtaposed with the image of a black man resonated a chord with me. I instantly thought, I have got to read this. Black people have told me all my life that I talk like a white person. I can identify with this.

And identify I did.

Although 20 years of age separate us, it’s amazing how he was able to relate his experiences from things that occurred in the 60s and 70s, only for me to identify with much of it having grown up in the 80s and 90s.

The book seems to be a collection of essays that he’s written in the last decade (the book was published in 2006) so it was divided up into five primary sections:

  1. Character
  2. Family
  3. Faith
  4. Idealism
  5. Identity

But before I even cracked open the book, I read the book jacket. Apart from acting, Phillips also works as a conservative commentator and was a heavy supporter of George W. Bush. Knowing that made me cringe. (If I’m honest, I still do.) But I determined that I would give Phillips a chance to speak to me on politics. Even though I’m not wholly a conservative, I feel that black conservatives are some of the most disdained members in the political arena. Keeping this in mind, I decided to be, you know, tolerant.

While I enjoyed reading the first three sections, I most enjoyed the latter two. (Although, admittedly, the book got progressively better going through each section.)

Once I stumbled upon the essay Black Conservatism, Black Pride at the beginning of the Idealism section, I took a deep breath before I began. Be tolerant and open-minded, I told myself. You never know what you might learn.

I indeed learned quite a bit. Despite the fact that I am not a Dubya fan, I am willing to give credit where credit is due. Phillips pointed out that Bush II had the most racially diverse presidential administration in the nation’s history up until the Obama administration. And despite all cries that Dubya was a committed racist, he consistently had a black Secretary of State during each term he held. (He could have easily replaced a white person in Colin Powell’s spot after Mr. Powell resigned.) So I’ll give Dubya credit for having the most diverse administration of his day.

Phillips also goes on to speak about Dubya’s journey to Africa and the money he pledged to fight HIV/AIDS and terrorism in the country. For a president who many cried were racist (especially as a result of Katrina), Bush II appeared to be more of a friend to black people than he is given credit for.

*Discuss Black Conservatism, Black Pride – how he could not be a Republican back in the civil rights era, how it’s okay for blacks to believe whatever they want on the political spectrum (my view)

*Discuss Reparations, Affirmative Action, how he attacks inherent racism in Hollywood and liberals

*Then speak of identity – how it impacted me and how I was able to relate to it: Black & White, especially.

Blacks suffer from slave mentality under the Democratic Party

~ K ~ 4 Comments

For the past few months, I have purposely tried to remain ignorant of political news with the exception of getting my breaking information from various Twitter accounts: BreakingNews, CNNbrk, jaketapper, and chucktodd. So when I saw that Sen. Harry Reid, a Democratic Party member and Senate Majority Leader, had made some ignorant statements about (then) presidential candidate Barack Obama being “light-skinned with no Negro dialect unless he wanted to have one,” I chose to initially ignore that too.

What I can’t ignore, however, is how black leadership (in the Democratic Party, of course) has been completely inconsistent on matters of race, playing politics to allow Sen. Reid to “stay in power.” This makes me angry.

Continue reading “Blacks suffer from slave mentality under the Democratic Party” →