It finally got me. After nearly 10 years in corporate America, having dodged layoffs in the past, it got me this time.

It is the worst feeling in the world.

I know. “Business is business” and there were multiple factors that contributed to the decision. However, knowing that this was also an opportunity to get rid of people who have been problematic makes me feel uncertain.

The company has been really generous, providing me with 3 weeks of severance pay along with 2 months’ notice. For all the lousiness that is being laid off, I can’t complain about the company. They’ve been kind enough to keep me employed for 2 more months to allow me to land on my feet. Of course, the hope is that I find something within those 2 months, but I anticipate it will take that long for even a job offer among applying, rounds of interviews, and potential rejections. I received a rejection email from a job I really wanted the same day I got laid off. Talk about it raining and pouring.

I’ve allowed myself to be depressed for the past few days and lick my wounds. However, I have promised myself and other people that I will not get stuck in a mire, and I’m forcing myself to come out of it this weekend. Even though I know business hours during weekdays will be a challenge for a while, I am committed to remaining a good employee until my final day. I’ll have my days in which I’m discouraged, but I’d also like to get back to a place where words aren’t blurry and English makes sense.