Tag: IUI

Christians and fertility treatments

~ K ~ 1 Comment

Although I have a son, the pain of infertility still resonates with me. I still want to assist others who struggle with having children. I want to encourage others going through fertility treatments. I don’t want to look down upon the different options of fertility treatments. Each couple has their own path to parenthood. My husband and I chose the path that we were most comfortable with.

Stigma surrounds infertility. If you read through the Bible, it’s something women have struggled with since ancient times. Children are often seen as a blessing. What appears to be the “withholding” of children seems to be a curse. I struggled long and hard with feeling like I was cursed. That God was holding out on me. Each month of “no” that went by stung deeply. I simply wanted to be a mother. And that’s the desire of so many women. Some couples who get pregnant easily can be quick to deny alternate avenues of pregnancy for others.

The struggle with infertility is hard. I experienced it for nearly 5 years. Here are some of the things that I faced:

  • Friends getting pregnant with their first, second, or FOURTH(!) child while my husband and I waited to conceive
  • Invitations to baby showers that I either had to refuse or attend but leave early
  • Failed intrauterine insemination (IUI), once known as artificial insemination
  • Ridicule from a doctor who is supposed to be a top regional doctor in reproductive endocrinology
  • The decision to pursue in vitro fertilization (IVF)

The decision to pursue IVF was somewhat difficult. From a Christian perspective, my husband and I at first weren’t sure if we were “playing God” by taking matters into our own hands this way. But we came to the conclusion that God provided a miraculous way for infertile couples to conceive. We aren’t Christian scientists. We believe that God provided Tylenol and technology to help people recover from illness. Why can’t God be involved in the process of creating a child scientifically?

When I spoke to Christian friends and family about our decision to pursue IVF, everyone was supportive. My husband and I agreed beforehand that any viable embryos would not go to waste. Five eggs were extracted from me . While all five eggs fertilized successfully, only two were viable. We chose to freeze (cryopreserve) one and transfer the other. “The other” is now our 11-week-old son. We have a picture of him before he was transferred into my uterus.

I praise God for the existence of modern medicine, technology, and science that gave my husband and I the ability to conceive when we would otherwise likely be childless. Some Christians, however, have issues with infertility treatments, such as egg freezing, donor eggs, donor sperm, and surrogacy. I think each couple has to come to a decision that they’re comfortable with. My husband and I were not comfortable with donor options and surrogacy. There was no need for egg freezing in our case. But for those who struggle with infertility, egg freezing, donor options, and surrogacy might be legitimate fertility routes although there may be legal complications with surrogacy.

A Christianity Today article, The Overlooked Ethics of Reproduction, questions the moral ramifications of assisted reproductive technologies (ART). I couldn’t help but feel a little indignant in reading the article. It was as if the author was passing judgment on Christians who chose to pursue various fertility options, namely surrogacy.

The fact that so many people fail to consider the moral implications of IVF suggests that in the age of fertility treatments, surrogates, and modern family-building via parenting partnerships, a woman’s womb has come to be seen as a somewhat arbitrary location.

As Christians, I think we need to consider the moral implications of ART but not be quick to dismiss them as evil or ungodly. Every couple (or perhaps woman) has a certain comfort level with ART. And if a Christian couple decides to do something that doesn’t seem to line up with biblical principles, such as abortion or discarding viable embryos, I think that is something they will have to eventually explain to God. That couple’s final authority is God, not man.

 

 

This Fertility Journey Is My Own

~ K ~ 3 Comments

Hello all,

It’s been a while since I’ve written about anything on this blog, mainly because I haven’t had much to write about. But after Shady Grove Fertility, which I will henceforth refer to as SGF, highlighted the brief mention I gave them on my end-of-summer update, I decided that I want to write about my TTC (trying to conceive) experience and the incredible role SGF and its staff played in my fertility journey. (I will be using the pronouns “my” and “me,” but please recognize that this fertility journey is really an “us” and “we” experience that includes my spouse.) P.S. This post may be a bit on the long side, so settle in with a nice cup of coffee or tea. Continue reading “This Fertility Journey Is My Own” →

Fertility Clinics

~ K ~ Leave a comment

My expectations of fertility clinics has changed now that I’ve been through the ringer twice. I used to expect (naive little me) that fertility clinics would be warm, welcoming places for couples who were suffering through infertility. Now I know better. Now I know that it’s a business, and fertility clinics are only out to make money—helping people get pregnant is just a means to an end.

The first time around at the fertility clinic, the nurses were nice, but the doctors cool and impersonal. My husband and I were just another number, just another dollar sign. I still get upset when I think of my first and last IUI (intrauterine insemination) there. The doctor was so flippant about how he thought it wouldn’t work. It’s like he took a dump on our $800 before flushing it down the toilet.

But I’m going back to a fertility clinic—a different one this time. I’m not as naive as the first time around. I get it. I’m a huge dollar sign. The more advanced the treatment (see IVF), the better. But I’ve got limits. I will have these doctors, however impersonal they are, help me get pregnant. I’ll attempt IUIs but not much more than that (mostly because I can’t afford it).

I guess I should admit that I’m grateful that the nurses weren’t impersonal, but were even kind, warm, and caring. But there’s nothing caring about getting a cold internal ultrasound shoved in your uterus. But ovulation kits don’t work for me so I need to rely on the advanced, expensive stuff.

After almost 4 years of trying to get pregnant and not succeeding, I know we need medical intervention. At the new fertility clinic, we could have up to a 2-hour consultation with the doctor. I hope the detailed history and visit will prove beneficial to producing a child later this year.

Sigh.

I have the funny feeling if I get the privilege of being a mom, I’m going to have one high-maintenance kid (a lot like his mother).

Infertility. There. I Said It.

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Two years ago, I began a journey to have a kid. I wrote about the implications of trying to conceive (TTC) and mental illness on my other blog, depression introspection, more than a year ago.

Now thousands of dollars and a few medical treatments later, I am still childless. Sure, I haven’t been on the infertility journey for as long as many other couples but to hear doctors already talking IVF (in vitro fertilization) doesn’t give me much hope.

I’ve been using my conception journey as a form of gauging how much God loves me. Yes, I know, it’s inaccurate. Yes, I know, being childless is not God’s way of punishing me and my husband. I know these things.

And then I see people conceive on the first try. “Fertile Myrtle.” I watch other women cry over brief pregnancies and think, “You’re still more of a mother than I’ve ever been.”

It’s interesting how there are different ranges of infertility. In the course of two years, most couples who have tried for that long have experienced at least one miscarriage. So far, we have no hope that we can ever conceive a child. And it makes me angry.

I’m angry because I thought God called us to be parents. I’m angry because I hated kids, didn’t want them, and now I’m sitting here grieving over what I don’t have and money I hoped would get me to where I wanted to be.

I’m sad because I watch parents take their children for granted and not realize what a blessing it is to have what so many others cannot.

And I’m angry with God. Because this is all under His control. At the end of the day, I play roulette with science and hope in God. And God consistently tells me “no.”

So what am I supposed to do? Where do I turn now? Where do I go?

I know that being pregnant won’t make things A-OK with God. I have a lot of issues to work through. My husband does too. But I just want to know that I’m not some woman filled with a delusion of being a mom. I want to know that God is somewhere saying, “Yeah, keep working at it, but not yet.” I want to know that He still cares about me and my husband.

And I was really hoping to give a big middle finger to the doctor who made us feel like we were wasting our money during the last cycle. I guess he knows what he’s talking about and we’re the fools who threw money into a long-shot gamble.

I’m just beside myself with grief and pain today.