Reading Anne Lamott makes me want to write. Is that the mark of a good writer? One who encourages other writers to write?

I am reading Bird by Bird, her book on writing and life. To overcome writer’s block, she encourages her readers (who are writers) to write 300 words a day.

Three hundred words a day. I can do that. Right?

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I have a memory book that I’m writing. In it all are the memories that I can possibly remember. Believe it or not, I don’t remember much. Only about 20 pages’ worth of memories in a small journal out of who knows how many pages possible. 200? Although I have 20 years of journals to sort through and read to remind myself of all the horrible things that have happened to me. Because, of course, I am notorious for recording the negative events in my life rather than the positive ones.

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Perhaps the following really belongs on my depression introspection blog, but I’ve had a really great year. Since my father died 11 years ago, 2012 has been the best year I’ve had mentally. Physically, I’m still dealing with chronic mono, but I hope that 2013 will bring a year of renewed mindfulness and energy. Normally, the fall and winter months (especially the Christmas season) bring with it sadness and depression, but thank the LORD, it’s been at bay this year. I’m finally accepting my father’s death and doing my best to move forward. I’ve accepted the fact that another year has gone by that I’m not a mother, and that’s okay. Forward. It was President Obama’s slogan during his re-election campaign, but it holds so much meaning for me. I will not let a political campaign co-opt a word that describes how I need to look toward the future.

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I am trying to read a Bible chapter daily and pray daily. I am using Health Month to do this. I still have not succeeded in exercising. I do not know that I will ever succeed in exercising. I start then stop, in fits, like traffic on the congested Belt Parkway. I do not know that I have grown closer to God. But I am walking by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). I am reading about the Old Testament God—the Heavenly Father who was all wrath and anger and appeasement by animal sacrifice. I like the New Testament God—Jesus, the Incarnation, who is all love and human and emotional. Reading about God through Genesis makes me so glad for Jesus in the four Gospels.

“Whose god then is God? They all want jurisdiction. In the Book of Earth, whose god spread fear? Spread love?” —Tori Amos

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I fear that my Mac is not long for this world. It is one of the discontinued 13″ white Macbooks (I almost wrote Powerbook—whew!). I don’t use it for anything anymore except to play music and to sync my iPhone to.  It was playing music when the song came upon a discordant note and the note kept playing over and over and over and… well, you get the point. It was like a CD permanently skipping. I had to force restart my Mac by holding down the Power button. But unlike the devotees of Mac, I simply cannot afford to buy a new Mac laptop of any sort. It is much too much expensive. But then again, I haven’t been sucked into the cult of Mac when it comes to computers. If I really loved Macs, I’d spend the money. But I don’t. I’d rather plunk down the cash and get a touchscreen Windows laptop for maybe as much money (or a fraction of the cost—I’m not sure how much touchscreen laptops run these days).

I am definitely an “i” girl. I use iTunes, love my iPhone, own an iPod Shuffle and and iPod Touch, and would like an iPad. Apple has won me over in the mobile department. But I figure I can make things work on Windows if need be. I would plunk down the money for an iPad. I just haven’t yet.

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Look at that. More than 700 words. And the goal was simply to write 300. Can I keep this up? I need to whether it’s through blogging, article writing, or fiction creation. I won’t get better as a writer otherwise.