Tag: gossip

Day 10 of Enjoying God: Good Speech

~ K ~ 1 Comment

I’m not talking about being articulate. I’m talking about being careful about what you say about others.

A round of ’bouts. I know.

Perhaps it’s Catholic guilt or fundy guilt or perhaps it’s simply that good ol’ conscience convicting me, but I immediately became aware of how important it is to speak well of others at work today.

There’s a person I work with who is really nice but fails to pull their own weight. (I’m intentionally using mismatched pronouns to avoid gender-specificity. If you have no idea what was wrong in the last sentence, just keep reading; no big deal.) It is common knowledge around the office that this coworker sort of loafs around, doing just enough minimal work to stay employed but not really pitching in to make a serious dent. As a result, some complaints and grumbles are said about this coworker and I found myself saying a really mean joke that elicited a cheap laugh from my other coworkers. Once the words came out of my mouth (I don’t even remember what now), I immediately felt guilty and repented. How is gaining a laugh at someone else’s expense glorifying to God? It doesn’t even matter that my coworkers aren’t Christians: I’ve given them the impression now that if they don’t do their work or have a bad day, I can say something just as mean about them behind their backs.

I suddenly realized the importance of edifying speech: speaking well of others or adhering to that old idiom, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.”

I’m certain that God doesn’t particularly snicker in heaven when I say something mean about someone who has been created in His image. Sure, actions can be criticized but if fair’s going to be fair, that criticism needs to be said in love to that person’s face—it shouldn’t be personality attacks (under the guise of criticism of actions) behind that person’s back. Perhaps that’s why gossip and backbiting are highly frowned upon in the Bible—those things are never said to kindly help point out people’s mistakes. Those things are always done because we’re insecure beings who are always trying to feel better about ourselves.

Philippians 4:8 says:

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

I would do well—and enjoy God a whole lot more—if I adhered to Paul’s admonition above.

Former IFB still in recovery…

~ K ~ 10 Comments

I don’t talk much about my short stint in Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) Land but the scars are still there. So much that I feel compelled to write a book (fiction) about it. I don’t know if there’s a Christian publisher out there crazy enough to publish it but I see it as a story that needs to be told. (I like to think Matthew Paul Turner‘s publisher might be a good place to start…)

For the first 16 years of my life, I grew up Roman Catholic. I went to Catholic schools throughout my entire primary and secondary education. I was baptized into the Catholic Church, received communion, and was even confirmed. (My confirmation name was Kateri Tekawitha.)

My uncle and aunt on my dad’s side began attending a church on the border of Queens and Nassau County, Long Island and soon my father began to go to church with them. I later joined my father and was immediately introduced to born-again Christianity. The first time I heard of hellfire and brimstone was the very day that I raised my hand and went forward during the altar call hoping I could avoid eternal damnation. I don’t think I became a “believer” that very day but it was a turning point for me in my Christian spirituality.

As a Catholic, I found that the one thing keeping me from committing suicide was the teaching that if I killed myself, I’d be plunged into an eternal hell. As a born-again Christian, I found the one thing that kept me alive was the teaching that Jesus loved me so much and died in my place to keep me out of hell. Perhaps this is why I gladly left the Roman Catholic Church for a Protestant one. (Although IFB preachers shun the term “Protestant.”)

The main character and protagonist of my novel, Ms. Montez, is based off of me. I’m careful not to make her exactly like me but the similarities are evident and many of the events affecting her and surrounding her are based on my personal experiences.

Ms. Montez is a 16-year-old Hispanic female who suffers from depression and frequently sees suicide as a viable option after struggling with being teased at school, the abandonment of her older brother, and the absence of real-life friends. But just like most people who attempt suicide, Ms. Montez does not want to necessarily die—she wants to be freed from the pain of depression; Ms. Montez is on a quest for inner peace.

When Ms. Montez visits an IFB church that her aunt goes to, she expresses an interest in knowing more about Jesus. She is drawn in and “sold” on born-again Christianity when it sounds as though she is promised freedom from depression, loneliness, and suicide through the cross of Jesus Christ.

There is more to the story but the book goes on to address issues that are common not just in IFB churches but in many Christian churches today: mental health, hypocrisy, greed, gossip, adultery, and legalism. If taken the wrong way, I firmly believe the book could be read as a condemnation on Christian churches, but it is not meant to be so. The book is about a young girl’s struggle to find and maintain a relationship with God in the midst of this messy, broken-down world of sin—the church not excluded. Continue reading “Former IFB still in recovery…” →