Well, a woman is one reason.

But even within the gender, I am never in a neat theological line. Perhaps I tend to fall within conservative, orthodox beliefs but many of my views on social issues are rather liberal, to use political terms. This does not make me a neat orthodox Christian.

I’m also rather opinionated. It’s hard for me to toe party lines because I think so differently. But in a way, the idea that I’ll probably never serve as a Christian leader makes me sad because I think I’d love to discuss theology with women that has a practical basis and watch ideas and actions take flight. I’d love to be a catalyst who spurs Others to action.

But alas, God didn’t make me that way and any illusions of me being some kind of leader must be killed. I am not a born leader. I do not inspire others, and as long as I’m keenly aware of that (despite what I desire), I’ll be okay.

Just gotta figure out how to be a fantastic Jesus follower.