Tag: Christian life

Day 3 in the Life of a Christian Atheist

~ K ~ 2 Comments

So far, atheism FAIL for me. Seriously. The em-phah-sis has decidedly been put on the Christian aspect so far. (Also, I have no issues splitting infinitives in case you didn’t know.)

The ironic thing about trying to live as if God doesn’t exist is that my mind has decidedly shifted to constantly thinking about God. For example, I catch myself doing “Christian” things when I don’t want to:

These certainly are not the actions of someone who wants to be an atheist or even thinks atheistically.

One could argue that I’m just following habits and that habits, including Christian ones, are hard to break. But why am I developing Christian habits once I’ve decided to try and abandon my faith for a week?

Or perhaps, a likelier scenario: these habits have been here all along and I’ve been so consumed with perfectionism in the Christian life (trying to “do” things on my own) that I’ve never noticed them.

One of my struggles as a Christian has always not been doing enough for God. I’m always frustrated by how I’m not doing the MAJOR things in life, ie, converting masses of degenerates to the praise and glory of God!!!  (Sorry, I couldn’t resist the fundy Baptist term “degenerates.”)

On a more realistic, practical level, I am frustrated that I haven’t accomplished the following:

  • Organizing seminars and workshops through my church that ministers to the practical needs of women in the community, ie, shortcuts and tips to navigating a computer; 30-minute meals (or 15 for when the kids are screaming); audiobooks & e-readers: why use them and how?
  • Setting up a breakfast/soup table on a Saturday in a poorer area to minister to the people of that community
  • Spearheading events for women who need monthly fellowship to relax, unwind, or discuss issues that are weighing on their hearts (à la “Mental Health Anonymous”)

Those are a few practical ideas I have in mind (inspired by library events) that I think could be a good part of church outreach. Perhaps they’re middle-class-ish, but I don’t think too many women would be put off by prayer at the beginning and end of a seminar if they can walk away with some useful and valuable tips that make their lives easier or more enjoyable.

These are things I haven’t done and want to do. As a result, I constantly count my missteps rather than my steps:

  • Didn’t do devotions today!
  • Didn’t pray today!
  • Didn’t bless a Shih Tzu today!
  • Didn’t do the sign of the cross while driving past St. Katherine’s today! (Oops, wrong denomination.)

You get the point. I’m so busy focusing on all the things that I don’t do as a Christian that I begin overlooking the things that are good and right and noble and all those nice things that are somewhere in the Bible. (And because I’m a demi-atheist, I am not looking up the chapter and verse which is probably somewhere in Philippians 4:8.)

And perhaps—just maybe—some Christians trying to live as atheists for a day may improve their relationship with God (as mine seems to be slowly doing; ugh!). Maybe by actively avoiding God, some Christians will be drawn closer to Him instead of trying to passively grow closer to Him.

What think ye?

Day 22 of Enjoying God: Joy

~ K ~ Leave a comment

I am really not in a place of joy.

I am discontent. I am distrustful. I am full of worry and anxiety. I lack peace.

Joy has always been one of my weaker qualities within the Christian life. I struggle with bipolar depression on the physical/mental side of things, but in the Christian life, I also suffer from a severe lack of joy in a lot of areas. Of probably all the fruits of the Spirit, joy competes for first place with patience for Christian qualities I lack.

However, the Bible is clear that joy is an essential quality of God and key to being able to enjoy a part of who He is. Psalm 16:11 and Psalm 21:6 tell us that in God’s presence is “fullness of joy” and joy “with gladness.” And a number of verses throughout the Psalms put this joy into practice, mainly vocally through singing and shouting, but there are also instances in which joy in the Lord is expressed through playing music (Psalm 43:4) and dancing (Jeremiah 31:12-13).

Biblical joy doesn’t seem to be merely happiness (or gladness) although that is a key component of it. Biblical joy includes praise to the Lord. Whenever joy or rejoicing is expressed in the Bible, it is usually accompanied with a form of praise to God. The 2011 Random House Dictionary defines praise in three primary ways:

  1. the act of expressing approval or admiration; commendation; laudation.
  2. the offering of grateful homage in words or song, as an act of worship: a hymn of praise to god.
  3. the state of being approved or admired: The king lived in praise for many years.

It’s not easy to possess joy all the time, but I’m thankful that God calls His children to partake in corporate worship as an act of joy (among other things).

 

Day 16 of Enjoying God: Trust

~ K ~ Leave a comment
Image from anna.aero

Trust isn’t necessarily so much an attribute of God that I need to enjoy as much as I need to employ this quality in myself to enjoy God more.

Issues of trust also lead into issues of control. The thing is, I’m a control freak, and I have this crazy idea that I know things better than God does. (Also see Day 12: Contentment.) If God would just give me control of this, everything would turn out okay. I don’t ever say this out loud but through my actions, I like to tell Jesus, “Hey, buddy, pull over and let me drive. I think I can navigate this messy New York traffic a whole lot better than you can.”

To be clichéd and quote Carrie Underwood’s 2005 hit song, I need to let “Jesus Take the Wheel.” In my life, Jesus is akin to a seasoned NYC taxicab driver who can get me to where I need to go while minimizing all the bumps along the way. Sometimes, like in a NYC taxicab, I use my imaginary emergency brake because I think I could do a whole lot better but Jesus knows what he is doing and (unlike real NYC taxicabs) he never puts me in unnecessary danger.

The crazy thing about the Christian life is that believers in Jesus have a hard time handing over the lease on their lives to the man they call their Lord and Savior. However, these same people have very little problem handing over their lives to a pilot (they’ve never met and don’t even know) on a plane.

Perhaps it’s time for me to place at least as much trust in Someone I claim to have a personal relationship with as the unknown guy who takes my plane 39,000 feet in the air and then safely lands it.