Tag: Black woman

Black woman in America (my experience)

~ K ~ Leave a comment

What does it mean for me to be a black woman in America? Honestly, even though I have dark skin, I have no idea. I’m trying to figure it out and find my way around. Intersectional feminism and racism is what “they” tell me is true and what I’m being told is true. Is my personal experience true or is it a lie, or am I naive to the things of this world that are steeped in white supremacy and systemic racism? Am I the only black woman who’s naive to these things or is in their 30s and doesn’t believe in these things?

I hear all this stuff and while my brain comprehends it, my heart doesn’t get it. I’m old school: I can’t think of every white person as inherently racist. I grew up with the belief that there are 2 kinds of racists—overt racists and subtle racists.

Overt racists are not ashamed to admit that they hate people of color. They use racial slurs freely and to the faces of people of color. They are part of the KKK, neo-Nazis, and skinheads.

Subtle racists are the ones who like black people—as long as they stay in their corner. Just don’t move into our nice neighborhood or work at my job or take my promotion (but if my white colleague got it, that’s OK). Or don’t stand next to me at the bus station when I’d feel safer standing next to a white man. You can often tell the difference in subtle racists by their non-verbal cues. They can be harder to identify, but they exist.

But I’m not sure I buy the idea that ALL white people are racist. I would need to have that explained to me. That all white people inherently are against people of color?

It’s hard for me to look at my white husband and think, Gee, I love this exceptional, racist man. Why would I want to be married to a racist? Sort of odd to me, I think.

 

The business of Black hair

~ K ~ 2 Comments

I don’t like to spend a lot of time on my hair. I’m pretty “hair dumb” for a black woman, which really sucks because I spend a lot of time and money on getting other people to make me look pretty. Not as bad as the woman in the video, though, who spends 40 hours a week and upwards to $25K a year.

An interesting stat: Black women make up 6.5% of the American population but purchase up to 40% of ALL haircare products. What a demographic!

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In search of an identity… race.

~ K ~ 4 Comments

After Michael Jackson’s sudden death, BET announced that it would feature a Michael Jackson tribute on its annual awards show. Curious to see how this tribute would turn out, I asked my husband to flip the TV channel to BET the night of the awards show.

Jamie FoxxI watched hoping to see a well-done opening act only to find Jamie Foxx, butchering the Moonwalk and doing a poor imitation of Michael Jackson’s dance moves. I smiled, assuming Foxx was being comedic and doing the best he could. When Foxx was done, he went on a mini-rant about how Michael Jackson was a “black man” and “he belonged to us.” My husband immediately flipped the channel and said, “I am not watching anymore of this racist garbage.” He subsequently went on to ban BET from our home.

The BET Awards just shed another light on an issue that I’ve been struggling with recently—the issue of race and how it relates to my identity.

I’ve always had issues with my racial identity but the problem reared its ugly head continuously during the 2008 presidential election in which I publicly chose not to support Democratic candidate Barack Obama’s bid. Ever since, I’ve struggled with what it means to a Black Christian female and how race plays into who I am.

One question I grapple with: Does race matter? And I think, yes, for the most part, it does.

Race matters:

  • When I need to get my hair done. I need a hairdresser who can style ethnic hair. The hairdresser can be black or white but she needs to know how to wash, style, and properly treat black hair. In that sense, race matters.
  • When it comes to medical issues, there are some medications that have been proven to work better in one race than in another. Genetically, race matters.

But when it comes to my personality, does race matter? No, it does not.

In the black community, race is not just a color; it’s become a culture. Black or African American culture. (While the terms Black and African American have become interchangeable and most people seem to prefer African American, my immediate heritage is Caribbean so I’m more comfortable simply using Black.)

What comprises Black culture?

  • Music: Blues, rap, hip-hop, R&B.
  • Religion: Style of worship.
  • Race: Racial discrimination has been a part of Black history for so long that it cannot be ignored.
  • Art: There is a definitive African influence here.
  • Entertainment: Comedy and movies.
  • Food: Soul and Caribbean
  • Politics: You’re a Democrat.
  • Language

With the exception of music, race, food, and politics, I’ve never been exposed to much of Black culture. I’m an only child and grew up in a nice, suburban area of the New York metropolitan area. While the area around me was highly diverse, no one in particular influenced me; I gravitated toward whatever I thought was interesting.

I suppose in my parents’ attempt to assimilate into American culture, the culture they adopted was one influenced by whites. I went to Roman Catholic schools from K-12 and attended predominantly white parishes until I became a born again Christian at age 16. Even then, I had a white pastor.

I grew up around mostly white kids and played with the white Barbie dolls. Maybe I was reared to be who other black people call a “sellout.” Continue reading “In search of an identity… race.” →