Category: Thoughts

Podcasts

~ K ~ Leave a comment
Courtesy of Adobe Stock/Alex from the Rock

This is going to be a really short post.

I don’t get podcasts. I don’t get why they’re a thing. I don’t get why people like to listen to them so much. People fall asleep in church listening to a sermon, but those same people can turn on an audio recording and listen to someone blather on about who knows what.

I find this different from audiobooks as audiobooks are an accessible form of reading or a convenient way to “read” a book without having to flip actual pages. Audiobooks are just as good as reading an actual book.

But this podcast stuff is everywhere and anyone can have a podcast. You don’t need to be famous, you don’t need to be special. All you need is access to doing some podcast stuff and make it public. I don’t know how a podcast is any different from talk radio except that you don’t have crazy callers making things funny.

I’ve been on a podcast and it’s the only podcast I’ve ever listened to in its entirety. I tried listening to Michelle Obama’s podcast when it first came out, and I could not be sleepier. If people want to hear me rant unimpeded about various topics, I’ll do so, but I’ll also function as a hypocrite in saying that I don’t listen to other podcasts and I have no desire to.

But ultimately, reader, you do you.

Seek justice and correct oppression

~ K ~ 1 Comment

I have a lot of anger and frustration right now. My country, its citizens, people I work with…injustice all around. 

I’m not sure where to begin. I don’t process any of these thoughts and feelings on Facebook as I don’t feel that is the appropriate venue for them. 

I am not your typical black, female, liberal Democrat. I didn’t like President Obama and Michelle Obama wasn’t the greatest First Lady to have ever existed in my lifetime. (Hillary Clinton still takes the cake, in my opinion.) 

I am not pro-choice/pro-abortion. “Family planning” is a misleading term as abortion or “the woman’s right to choose” usually involves the LACK of having a family. “Reproductive rights” is a misnomer. More like rights to NOT reproduce. Everything about being “pro-choice” is “anti-reproduction.” 

The women’s march pissed me off considering that the official organizers had to put out a statement uninviting a pro-life organization and taking an official Pro-choice stance. This march no longer represented me or my voice. They claimed to but they did not. I had no say against Donald Trump and his administration and it was clear that because I believed in the sanctity of life on this ONE ISSUE, I would be shunned from this community of women. 

And I don’t care to be part of this kind of political fellowship. If they don’t care to look past my political differences and embrace me, then fine, I’ll continue to move forward and work without them by my side. 

Let’s keep lowering the abortion rate. With or without having Roe v. Wade overturned. Let’s make sure that we make sure women know about ALL available options to prevent pregnancies: birth control AND self-control. If pregnant, expecting moms should know that infertile couples are willing to sponsor women who want to give their babies up for adoption. Abortion doesn’t have to be the last resort or ONLY option for many women. In a majority of cases, we CAN choose life. Let’s continue to make life a first option and do all we can to ENCOURAGE it and not discourage it. 

I can’t express my opinion about this administration because I’m not supposed to like it, right? And on the whole, so far, it isn’t great. But an executive order has been reinstated that ceases to give NGOs that perform abortions federal funding. And I’m happy about that. +1, President Trump. #conservativeliberal

I could list all the stuff Obama did that I’m unhappy about, especially as a lame duck (*cough*Palestinian money*Israel betrayal*drones*ending Cuban wet-foot/dry-foot policy*cough*). Lord knows there’s plenty of fodder for me to complain about Obama’s actions as president. I won’t even begin to question his motives. 

I don’t expect Trump to be a good president. In fact, I’m afraid he will suck majorly. Even worse, I’m afraid he’ll do well enough for Middle America to win another 4 years but that the popular vote will not outweigh his electoral vote…again.

Trump’s opponents annoy me more than Trump himself. They were my biggest fear when I thought of the potential of a Hillary loss (which seemed so unlikely) and now it’s a nightmare realized. 

Someone get me out of here. 

I wish everyone got what they rightly deserved, especially when they worked hard for it. I hate to see people promised something and then get delayed, brushed aside, jerked around, and then left in the dust wondering what they did wrong and what they could’ve done better. Why do we play favorites? Why do we treat some people better than others? We know who works hard and who doesn’t. Why do the lazy get rewarded and the hardest toilers get stranded in the dust?

Being blackballed is a thing, it seems. And it makes me sad. I hope that redemption is still possible. One day…?

I know I’m speaking in vague generalities but I suppose I have to right now so specifics aren’t brought out. Also, I’m sort of “typing aloud,” letting my thoughts flow freely onto digital paper, so to speak. 

Just really tired of injustice and oppression everywhere I turn. Sure, it’s not affecting ME personally but it’s affecting others I love and care about. This bothers me. And if I don’t stand up and say something for them, who will? Aren’t I in a position where I can do good for others and help those who need it? 

“Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.” —Isaiah 1:17 (ESV)

Everyone’s a critic (including myself)

~ K ~ Leave a comment

For the next week, I’ll be working full time filling in for someone who is out on medical leave. During that week, my mother will be here.

It’s almost Mother’s Day and I don’t want to sound critical of my mom but…

(Yes.)

…she can be very critical of me with comments about my weight and my parenting.

I’ve adopted this critical attitude toward myself. I’ve realized no one is harder on me than I am. It just often sucks to be validated about the criticisms I lay on myself.

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Working full time (even temporarily) outside the home has made me tired. I barely have energy to think let alone work. Extracurriculars, such as book club and exercise, have fallen by the wayside.

 

 

Eye on the Target and other assorted ramblings

~ K ~ 2 Comments

Yesterday was a mixed-bag of epic proportions. I had an awesome day with my son. He developed a cold overnight on Sunday but finally began to feel better yesterday. He ate, burped, and slept. It was a great day with him.

I downloaded necessary tools for my freelance trade: SnagIt and Adobe Acrobat Standard. Sure, those two pieces of software cost quite a bit of money together, but I’ve decided it’s better for me to have them and recoup my expenses through earning income than to lose income and not spend the money at all. I have used Adobe Reader’s basic sticky note feature extensively and felt as though I needed to upgrade to more advanced annotation for PDFs. I have used SnagIt in my freelance career and at home for a free trial and decided it was worth the expense if I’m going to edit/proofread websites.

But nothing, oh nothing, compared to the frustration I experienced with my Target card.

I received my basic store Target card sometime last year in 2013. If I had paid attention, I would have noticed that it said I had been a cardholder since 2011. But I didn’t pay attention. All I knew was that I had opened a Target account and could use my card anytime I chose to do so.

Cue the Law & Order theme song.

I tried using my Target red card at the store sometime before the holidays. The card wouldn’t work. I didn’t think much of it because I remembered I hadn’t really activated it. Then I read on the Target red card website that the Target store card does not need to be activated. So I wondered why my card didn’t work but was too lazy to call.

Last night, when I tried to purchase a gift that would have cost me $8.20 in shipping & handling on the website, I noticed the fine print that said “No shipping fees when you use your red card!” Of course! So I whipped the card out and entered it into the payment section and was puzzled when I received a SQL error. When I tried again, the website took me all the way to the final screen and then back to billing where it asked me to enter another valid form of payment. So Target.com recognized my store card as a valid Target card but then didn’t.

Finally frustrated enough to save $8, I called the Target number to speak to a representative. After becoming even more puzzled (and more frustrated) as to why my account number was not being recognized, I kept pressing random buttons until I reached a customer representative. This customer representative informed me that because I had not used my Target card within 2 or 3 months, it was cancelled.

TWO or THREE months?

Cancelled without informing me?

The customer representative proceeded to tell me that if I wanted another Target card to go to the store and open a new one. K? Thx. Bai.

I hung up, absolutely livid. This isn’t the first lousy experience I’ve had with Target and (THANK GOD) haven’t even been hacked. So below is an open letter to Target:

Continue reading “Eye on the Target and other assorted ramblings” →

End-of-summer update

~ K ~ 4 Comments

It’s nearly the end of summer, and I haven’t blogged at all in the past 3 months.

I suppose the big news is that I am 4 months pregnant with our first child thanks to fertility treatments. (I highly recommend Shady Grove Fertility if you live in the mid-Atlantic states.) The first three months were a bit rough going as I was sick on and off, But I’m feeling much better now that I’m in my second trimester.

I submitted queries to agents for my completed novel, Getting Right with God, and was rejected by all of them. How disappointing. And after sending to an editor and having a few established writers review the opening pages of my work, I realize that I still have more work and more revision to do. I’m afraid that the book itself just isn’t marketable, but I’m not willing to self-publish. What a conundrum.

I am working on a novel idea for NaNoWriMo in which a black teenage girl from New York City relocates to the Philadelphia suburbs and attends a posh, primarily white private school. Conflict ensues!

Other than that, I’ve just been working like crazy at the library as a library assistant. I attended two book club meetings this week, which were actually quite enjoyable. We read Beauty Queens by Libba Bray for one and The Hunger Games trilogy (yes, that’s all three books) for another. On my own, I’m reading several books at once:

Quiet is the most intriguing book of all to me. I’m afraid A History of the World… is going to be rather dry reading.

I wish I had more interesting things to say. There are so many topics going on: President Obama’s second term, Syria, the Affordable Care Act, Egypt, Russia… but alas, I have no brainpower or opinions of my own on any of these things, So enjoy this brief update.

 

It’s A Wonderful Life

~ K ~ 1 Comment

One of my favorite holiday movies is It’s A Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed. The reason that it’s one of my favorite movies is because of the message it sends to me. Toward the end of the movie, George Bailey is down on his luck and is considering suicide. His guardian angel, Clarence, gives him the rare opportunity to see life as if he’d never been born. The insight George gains is invaluable. He sees the effect his life has on people—things he’d never thought of before. And It’s A Wonderful Life always reminds me that my life is worth something. And that I don’t know how many lives I’ve positively touched or even saved by my very existence.

In the greater scheme of things I can identify with George Bailey in the death of dreams. George’s dream was to travel the world then go off to college. Instead after his father dies, he takes the helm at the community bank his father owned. This reminded me of my dream to be a successful magazine editor in New York City. Instead I got married (a bit like George’s life) and settled in suburban Philadelphia with my husband. George too gets married to Mary and settles in his hometown of Bedford Falls instead of traveling the world. Now, George’s life didn’t turn out bad just like mine has been all right. In the end, George is reminded that family, friends, and love are what will get him through life. I’d make a slight tweak to that: God, family, friends, and love are what will get me through this life. It’s A Wonderful Life reminds me that I truly have a lot to be thankful for.

What I Learned from My Manicure

~ K ~ 2 Comments

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I got a manicure today and as soon as I got home, I ruined some of it (as you can see by the thumb). The nail polish wasn’t mine so I can’t fix it. But what I can do is learn three things from my manicure:

1. People aren’t perfect. The lady cutting my cuticles left a glaring one hanging that I cut myself when I got home. But I can’t expect her to be perfect and see every detail, just as I can’t expect myself to be perfect and catch every detail.

2. Life is messy. My nails aren’t quite what I would like them to be. Just like life. You think you’ve got things all figured out and suddenly life puts a huge dent in your flawless manicure. Life won’t turn out how you expect it to.

3. All things will pass. My manicure won’t last forever and crappy things don’t last forever. In a week, I will not care about the smudge on my thumb because it will not be there. Most troubles will come and go; what will remain are the lessons we’ve learned.

A bonus: most things are fine. Most of my nails look great. Those are the ones I can show off. Most things in life tend to be fine. It’s just the glaring, obvious problems that tend to get our attention. But when you consider everything that’s going on in your life, most things are going well (especially if you have the ability to read this).

Can you name one thing going well in your life in spite of feeling like things are going wrong?

Mundane Blogging: Beta

~ K ~ 1 Comment

Today I went to work and had an uneventful day. I always look forward to coming home at the end of a long day.

I’m a little sad, though, because my favorite show, NBC’s “The Voice,” has finished its second season so I don’t have that to look forward to at the end of this long day. I may try watching “America’s Got Talent” if I’m really bored.

The weekend was nice. I had a good Mother’s Day with my mother and did my best to really focus on her. However, I couldn’t help feel sad throughout most of the day. One lady wished me a “Happy Future Mother’s Day,” and I thought that was sweet. I hope she’s right one day.

 

Mundane Blogging: Alpha

~ K ~ 4 Comments

Image Credit: Evgeni Dinev

It’s a shame that I’ve got this good ol’ blog that I don’t use or touch regularly. So perhaps I’ll try posting more mundane posts. Posts that I think no one really cares about. (Let’s see how long this lasts.) Oh, like, something that would qualify as a Facebook status update: Today was a nice day.

Wait, I’m already cheapening my own post.

In all seriousness, today was a relatively good day. I worked my 3-hour shift in the children’s section of the library and endured a 2-hour drive to and from Philly (with my husband) for a 15-minute appointment with my psychiatrist. Thank God my psychiatrist is so good he’s worth the gas.

My husband (J) and I stopped at Bed Bath & Beyond to return an item and purchase some new sheets since we just lost two to wear and (literal) tear. We also spent time bumbling around trying to remember what it was that we wanted to buy at BB&B but couldn’t remember. (To this moment, we still haven’t remembered.) Then on a whim, we ate at Anthony’s Coal Fired Pizza for an early dinner only to discover that the only chicken on the menu were their specialty wings. My husband can’t eat any meat other than poultry due to his gout so the lack of chicken as a topping option was a real letdown. We ended up having an eggplant pizza along with their chicken wings, which were both good.

In addition to attending Bible study tonight, I managed to send off my manuscript to two beta readers in the hopes that I’ll get valuable feedback soon.

Ah yes, my unpublished, completed manuscript. It is tentatively called Getting Right with God and is 19 chapters long and 315 pages wide with 92,538 words and a Flesch-Kincaid Reading Level of 5.2. (Only 2 percent of my sentences are passive!) Now, I need to format it so it follows standard manuscript format and prepare it for—the horror!—querying agents. And now the editor has turned author andI’m the one who needs to pay an editor to review my work.

Bonus of the Day: J gifted Norah Jones’s latest album, Little Broken Hearts, to me. It’s only $5.00 on Amazon in May 2012.

 

Ramblin’ Rose

~ K ~ Leave a comment

National Infertility Awareness Week

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week, and I’m all too aware that I don’t have kids. So what’s next? What does raising awareness about infertility mean?

It’s about learning to be sensitive to childless couples, especially those who are struggling to conceive children. Here’s an old post I wrote about Six Ways to Be Considerate of Childless Couples.

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Beyonce

Beyonce was just named by People Magazine as the World’s Most Beautiful Woman. I, for one say, Beyonce is overrated. She’s a very beautiful individual, no doubt, but really, People Mag couldn’t find any other woman in the WORLD who is prettier? I’m on Beyonce overload anyway after her whole pregnancy and made-up after-birth photos. (Who looks that polished after just having kids? I mean, really.)

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People Assuming I Like Barack Obama Because I’m Black

My blackness does not equal a love for the first black president. It’s just that simple. It does not necessarily translate into a love for the other political side either.

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Michelle Obama

I have no issues with the First Lady and I’m baffled with people who do. I mean, she isjust the First Lady. She ain’t Barack running the country. But that’s just me.

Why I Don’t Like Downton Abbey

~ K ~ 14 Comments

I work at the library and much ado has been made of the phenomenon that is Downton Abbey. At one point, there were 200 people (including me) waiting to discover why Downton Abbey was great. Well, I can tell you for all of the great raves about it, I was heartily disappointed. Why, oh why? (WARNING: Spoilers ahead.)

1. Mary, one of the main characters, isn’t very likeable. Mary is a central character, someone the viewer is supposed to feel sympathy for since she is the eldest and must marry her next of kin (a cousin) to inherit her estate and fortune. It’s a shame then that Mary comes off as dour and bitter, which makes me feel even less sorry for her state of affairs.

2. Edith, Mary’s sister, isn’t very likeable either. Edith is a very secondary character but she doesn’t invoke sympathy either. In fact, she is the scheming sister willing to take her sister’s leftover suitors if they’ll have her.

3. Cora, Mary’s mother, is like a white wall—there but uninteresting. Cora should be a character who is more interesting, especially since she ends up getting pregnant later on in the season, but it seems as if she’s more there to help events plod along rather than being a central party to them.

4. Thomas and O’Brien are pure evil. I know, I know. Not everyone can be as great as Bates, Anna, and Gwen and there MUST be some antagonists but I couldn’t even sympathize with their villainous behavior. Is Thomas mean because he’s gay and can’t come out publicly? Is O’Brien a bitch because she smokes? I’m making stuff up; I don’t have any idea. There’s nothing to help me figure out why these two act the way they do.

5. I could care less about the entail. To be honest, I didn’t even know what it was when I started watching the show and by part three, it had been mentioned so many times that I thought I ought to look it up in the dictionary. After I discovered what it was, I suddenly realized the show’s premise revolved around Mary (a character I didn’t like) and the entail. Considering that I didn’t care about the entail from the get-go and still didn’t as the show went on, I realized that the main premise of the show hadn’t sucked me in. That’s a fail for me being interested in a show.

6. I discovered I don’t care for period drama. This is probably one of my main issues. When Sybil (the youngest sister) buys a pair of bloomers and everyone looks at her in shock, I rolled my eyes. I had a hard time accepting the show for the time period that it was in, which isn’t the show’s fault. It just isn’t my cup of tea.

7. It’s a soap opera. One of Mary’s suitors dies after orgasm (it’s not explicit but implied) and Mary, Cora, and Mary’s maid Anna haul him back to his bedroom to be discovered in the morning. All I could think after seeing that was, “Really?” This happens in episode two or three of the season and I kept watching to see if it was a one-off episode or if the show would build off the events of “poor Mr. Pamuk.” (I especially feel even less sorry for Mary during the whole ordeal.) It turns out the show appeared to be heading in the direction of building off of the event, and I immediately realized I’d have to keep watching a show that was bound to get more and more far fetched as it went along. I gave up midway through season one.

Granted, the acting isn’t bad, the script isn’t terrible, there are some characters who are likeable. (Maggie Smith, of course, is excellent.) But with the combination of everything I outlined above, the show was bound to be a disaster for me. If you like Downton Abbey, congratulations. If you don’t, I’d love to hear from you and your reasons in the comments below.

P.S. I really, really wanted to like the show just because it’s been so hyped up. Le sigh. Thank God for BBC’s Sherlock.

Culture of Judgment

~ K ~ 2 Comments

I’ve been thinking that it’s next to impossible to be an American (or a Westerner for that matter) and not be judgmental. We pride ourselves on “judgmentalism.” With shows like American Idol, Survivor, and X-Factor, Americans play judge and jury on contestants. We are the civilized form of ancient Romans eagerly watching which contestant will dodge the tiger each week.

I am paranoid about people judging me. But as Jesus challenges me to pull the beam out of my own eye (Matt. 7:4-5), I find that not only am I judgmental but I encourage my judgmental attitude by watching TV shows that propagate the cycle. I cannot call others out for being judgmental when I am guilty of the same and expose myself to viewing that enables my sin.

I don’t know how I will be able to fully extricate myself from a culture of judgment. But I must ask forgiveness for my heart and try to remain pure so that a beam isn’t so badly poking my eye when I see this fault in others.

A Day in the Life

~ K ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been busy working at two libraries instead of just one. This will continue through the end of March. I now realize how insane I am.

I’ve also been seeing a psychiatrist semi-regularly to control my meds. I am only taking one right now: Abilify.

I am trying to get my editorial consultancy off the ground. I’m having a logo made and a website designed. It’s kind of exciting but also scary.

I’ve worked for two clients in the past six months and that has been pretty cool.

I don’t have much to offer by way of thought-provoking pieces, but I thought I’d let you know I’m alive.

Random, stream-of-consciousness post

~ K ~ 3 Comments

Because kittens are pure cute evil. Image from theonion.com.

I am sitting at work where it’s very slow. So I’m typing a post because I really have nothing else to do. Problem is, I’m so exhausted that I don’t really have anything to say. So here’s a stream-of-consciousness post that I’ll type and hope that somehow, parts of it make sense.

What’s on my mind?

The 2012 GOP primary: I really don’t want Newt Gingrich to be the nominee.

The 2012 presidential election: I prefer Romney over Obama.

Unemployment numbers dropping: Unemployment numbers are dropping because people are working part-time and don’t qualify for unemployment or have stopped looking for work because they’ve maxed out unemployment benefits.

Holiday parties: I’m holiday partied out.

Lifehacker and the Gawker family: I still hate their layout.

Facebook Timeline: Why should I adopt it? They’re just going to change it in the next few months anyway.

PMS: Sucks.

Social skills: I wish I were more social. I mean, I need to take a class on how to hold a conversation with people I don’t know. Or rather a class on how to care about people you don’t know and probably will never meet again. Who’s with me on a class for that?

My hair: I have an afro. I love it and hate it.

My jobs: I work a lot.

Rest: I can haz it?

My birthday party: I fear it will be a disaster.

Editing my client’s book: I don’t trust myself to edit a single thing today.

I’ll probably add more as I think of it.