I’m in a weird spiritual place right now. I’m not anti-God or even angry with Him. I just am. I just exist. But somehow He and I have a disconnect. I know God doesn’t want someone who is lukewarm and I am so lukewarm right now.
I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. —Revelation 3:15-17
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I have the potential opportunity to work 3 jobs. Yes, THREE. I feel fortunate to be able to have work coming in this tough economy. But yes, I work as a freelance editor and proofreader for advertising agencies. That’s my niche; that’s my specialty. I accept it and embrace it. If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you might have noticed mistakes, errors, misspellings, typos. I really don’t edit my posts on this blog much, especially since I put most of my effort into my day job. On my professional blog (which I haven’t written for in quite a while), I double-check and triple-check my work before hitting the Publish button. But I allow myself this place—this space—to be imperfect and make mistakes since I feel the need to be at the top of my game in other areas.
This Journey Is My Own 
Hey Kass!
Even with the disconnect, don’t forget about grace. Somehow in the ebb and flow of life, that one reality allows God to hang onto me, even when I purposefully let go. While I can’t elaborate here, I will say I definitely identify with your initial paragraph.
And I was on another blog and saw this link for becoming a prolific writer (Forbes): http://www.forbes.com/sites/singularity/2013/02/25/my-secrets-how-i-became-a-prolific-writer-and-learned-to-get-beyond-school-essays/
Maybe you’ve already seen it, or not – here’s to your writing success!
Glad you could use this blog to just relax and be yourself, without seeking perfection. The same thing applies to spirituality. I don’t think God wants you to be perfect in order to please Him or be with Him. I believe you just need to be who you are at the moment – just be – and that seems to be exactly where you are right now. I think this is fine. My experience has been that I need to be present, in the moment. This is where I can find God.