I won’t articulate myself here well. Not as well as I’d like to. And I’m going to be a broken record about the following subject because I’ve written on it before but since it’s my blog and I can be repetitive if I want to, I’ll do just that.

My biggest pet peeve about Christians, Christianity, and many Christian churches is how they treat gays. It’s a very big pet peeve of mine.

The majority of Christians will condemn what Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church does. I don’t know a single Christian in my life who likes him and applauds what he does. And I’d gladly boot out anyone out of my life who thinks it’s okay to subscribe to his brand of hate.

But in practice, Christians have a long way to go in distinguishing themselves from hating sin and loving the sinner.

In my first encounter with “born-again Christianity” in an IFB church on the border of New York City, I listened to my pastor rail against the really important sins. You know, the high-profile, shocking ones: the pervert in the White House and the cross-dressing mayor that will parade on the street with a bunch of homosexuals. My pastor especially had lots of vitriol saved up for Greenwich Village, which was particularly interesting to me considering I wanted to attend NYU.

When I made a public profession of faith in Christ in July of 1998, I was willing to accept all of the Bible as an authority over my life. What I struggled with, however, was what I read in Romans 1.

Before I quote Romans 1, I continually ponder why my heart has always been sympathetic to gays and how Christians treat them. It’s something that I explored in my previous post on this issue, and I conjectured that perhaps it’s because I had an uncle who felt the need to hide his sexual preference from everyone to the point where he contracted HIV then eventually died of complications from AIDS.

But perhaps there’s another reason, one that probably goes a bit deeper than I’d ever thought about and it’s probably the real reason why I am so sympathetic to gays.

For several years throughout my schooling (elementary into high school—all different school), I have been accused of being a lesbian. (The worst of it actually occurred at an all-girls school; I ended up leaving the school after one year since I couldn’t make any friends.) I don’t know what I did to make a bunch of different people think I was gay.

Not particularly an earth-shattering admission, right?

Well, think about this: for years, despite all of my protests to the contrary, my classmates vilified me as if I were a member of the gay community. I was teased and bullied on same crazy notion that I was gay. This began as early as fifth grade. Unfortunately, I still remember it like it was yesterday.

Up until I was about 14, I’d spent my life living in apartment complexes. When I was about 9, a girl (maybe a year or two younger) would come visit her grandmother, our next-door neighbor, on the weekend. My parents allowed us to play together.

One day, this girl wanted to play “House.” She wanted to be the dad and I could be the mom. Perhaps I was a naive little girl, but I never saw any trouble with game. Until she told me that mommies and daddies kiss.

Hrm. She was right. I reluctantly agreed.

So she and I kissed several times while playing “House.” As an underdeveloped 9-year-old, I didn’t find kissing her sexually stimulating, however, she seemed to enjoy it more than I did. (I think the chick got as far as second base before I objected. Yes, I know it’s TMI but I think you’ve got the idea that I’ve had a lesbian experience at some point.) So I went along for the ride. I can honestly say “I Kissed A Girl” but I didn’t care for it.

So even that young, perhaps there was this deep-seeded fear that my classmates might have been right about me. Maybe I was a lesbian and just didn’t know it yet. Despite the fact that I had an affinity for smart, funny, fat, white boys, maybe they knew me better than I knew myself.

When I finally got my first kiss from a boy at 16, I was no longer a “lesbian” but a “freak.” I just couldn’t win no matter what I did.

So finally, after all these years of being accused of (and treated like) being gay, I likely found myself forced to identify with a group of people with whom I did not belong.

This set me down a path of “putting myself in the other person’s shoes.”

I didn’t wake up one day and decide that wanted to like a boy; I just did. In fact, despite my first kiss coming from a girl, my mind automatically rejected it as something I did not want. For the most part, I am not sexually attracted to women. (I have weird obsessions with actress Angelina Jolie and  model Marisa Miller that I repent of.)

I’d venture to say that most gays don’t wake up one day and think, “I’m going to make a conscious decision to reject being attracted to the opposite sex and willfully choose to be attracted to the same-sex.” Knowing all of the hate and rejection that comes with such a decision, who would want to choose to face that?

Just like most heterosexuals are naturally attracted to the opposite sex, homosexuals find themselves naturally attracted to the same sex.

It is here where the breakdown begins between me and other Christians.

Mr. A meets Miss B and the two become friends.  Mr. A sees that Miss B is a really cool gal and sexually attractive to him and Miss B thinks Mr. A is an awesome guy and sexually attractive to her so the two begin a romantic relationship. After a few years, Mr. A loves Miss B and wants to spend the rest of his life with her so he proposes to her. Miss B, who also loves Mr. A and wants to spend the rest of her life with him, accepts his proposal and the two soon are happily married.

Miss X meets Miss Y and the two become friends. Miss X sees that Miss Y is a really cool gal and sexually attractive to her and Miss Y thinks Miss X is an awesome gal and sexual attractive to her so the two begin a romantic relationship. After a few years, Miss X loves Miss Y and wants to spend the rest of her life with her so Miss X proposes to Miss Y. Miss Y, who also loves Miss X and wants to spend the rest of her life with her, accepts Miss X’s proposal and the two are soon happily married in the state of Massachusetts.

Some people get this idea that gays are nothing more than a bunch of sexual creatures who merely lust after the same sex, looking for the next best orgy. I don’t think people take the time to view gays as people who have an inclination to be attracted to the same-sex.

That being said, if we look at Scripture, the Bible has harsh words for people who in engage in same-sex acts. (That would include me at one point.) The Bible also has similar harsh words for adulterers, fornicators, liars, gossips, hypocrites, and legalists.

So here’s the fact of the matter: homosexual or heterosexual—we’re all sinners. And no matter our sexual orientation, once we accept Jesus Christ as the savior from our sins, we are freed from that sin and are ushered into grace and forgiveness. Romans 10:9 says, “If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

It frustrates me that Christians act like the gospel is for everyone but gays. As if Jesus Christ and his saving grace is too good or above those who are in same-sex relationships.

When I read Jennifer Knapp’s interview in Christianity Today and she said that she was not attending a church, I knew exactly why. Christianity has no place for gays who are in a loving, committed relationship.

The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones.  In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. (v. 18-32)

No one knows how many times I read this, shaking my head in anger and frustration, wondering why God would say this about people. For several months, I didn’t want to believe this passage or acknowledge it. I finally chose to accept it only with reluctance.

Twelve years later, this reluctance is coming back to haunt me. But not only do I see gays being condemned here, I see idolatry and sexual impurity (sex outside of marriage, basically) being condemned here as well. Not only that, Paul goes on to give a lists of sins of wickedness against God: envy, strife, murder, deceit, malice, gossip, slander, God-hating, insolence, arrogance, boasting, disobedience, senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless.